… and Hello Habari. I’m switching over to a new blog, so all 3 of you who actually read my blog - you’ll have to visit my new blog and resubscribe to my feed. Don’t worry, you can still read the bloggity goodness archives at http://www.naramore.net/archives/.
See you on the other side!
Wow, 2 dork-filled moments in one day. That might be a record for me. Anybody following me on Twitter might have seen that it was my husband’s work party last evening… I actually had heels on, so I fully expected a wipe-out at some point in the evening.
Good news is that I made it through without falling down. But I had an interesting experience nonetheless. After the party, a large group of us decided to go to a nearby bar called The Avenue. One step inside told you this wasn’t a typical Covington, Kentucky bar (yes, we were across the river in Covington not downtown Cincy per se). It was pretty hip, I say, with it’s little conversation couches and Betty Page servers. I felt a bit inadequate in my little Christmas sweater and pearl earrings, but what the hell.. I’d had a few, so what did I care.
When it was time for me to visit the little girl’s room, I wandered toward the back and found an unmarked hallway that I instinctively followed. There, I found 2 doors, presumably the restrooms. In true pseudo-esoteric fashion, one door was marked with a triangle above it, the other with a circle… but otherwise the doors were completely blank.
I’m standing there, with my legs crossed thinking “What. Thefuck.”
So then I kind of chuckle and look around -surely this is some kind of candid camera moment; some kind of joke. Alas, Alan Funt did not jump out and save the day, so I was left to ponder this riddle on my own. I stood there for a while, contemplating the subtle symbolism of the triangle versus the circle, and questioning my own sexuality. If I was a girl, would I be a circle or a triangle? To me, the choice was not as obvious as it could have been. I mean, triangles are kind of pointy and harsh, and circles are all warm and fuzzy-like. But the triangle could also be seen as a skirt, like on a stick-person. And I guess, the circle could be construed as a piece of the male genitalia.
I puzzled and puzzed, (not unlike the Grinch) and eagerly awaited someone to exit so my mystery could be solved. No one was coming out or going in, and by this point my bladder was screaming for my attention. Forget it, I thought. I’m a triangle. As I started in that direction, I noticed a guy coming up behind me. Sweet! A guinea pig! I can let him make an ass out of himself first.
So of course, because I can’t just keep my mouth shut and smoothly pretend that I was just waiting for someone, I laughed and said “what the hell am I supposed to do?”
The dude apparently took pity on me because he laughed back and said “the triangle’s the pen1s, and the circle’s a vagina.”
“Aha!” I said, and I realized at that moment I was a complete dork. That thought really hadn’t occurred to me previously… all I could think of was “I’m soo blogging this.”
So is this where the world stands? We’re not in LA or New York, but podunk Cincinnati. And not even technically Cincinnati, but Covington, Kentucky. And because Cincinnati is usually 15 years behind everyone else, does this mean that everywhere, people are using triangles and circles instead of “men” and “women"? I know I have comments disabled but someone PLEASE enlighten me to wtf is going on. 
I’ve not posted anything from my “Proof I’m a Dork” department in a while, so in the spirit of spreading good cheer, I just thought I’d share my latest.
I fall down a lot. I’m not really sure why, but I think it’s because my “graceful gene” is malformed. Regardless, the outcome is usually painful, but humorous, and normally I don’t break anything so all’s well that ends well. Today is no exception - as the kids and I left our favorite hangout, Chipotle, I was carrying our leftover bowls of rice, beans and cheese, and all of our heavy coats (since it’s now roughly 57° outside). As we walked toward our car, somehow my shoe got caught on the sidewalk and I fell face forward down towards the cement. Naturally I sacrificed the coats and leftover rice by flinging them into the air so I could brace myself, but what I found interesting is that I didn’t put my hands down immediately like I usually do. My knees went down, but instead of falling on my hands, I instinctively twisted my body and did a little flip thing, resulting in me lying on my back with my feet up in the air. At this point I’m looking up into the sky, the Chipotle rice is lightly falling down on me like a soft winter snow, and my kids are looking down at me like I’m some kind of alien freak. No harm done, just some lovely road rash on the back of my hand.. and my knee is a little skinned up since I already had a hole in my jeans from my previous encounter with the pavement (that’s another story for another time).
So the moral of my story is that I think I’ve finally “arrived.” I’ve now learned the proper way to fall down to minimize injury… truly definitive proof that I really am a dork.
My love/hate relationship with Google continues, I fear. While I hate to see them taking over the world, and I hate that they have access to so much of my personal information, I can’t seem to break free from the hold of convenience they have over me. As I’ve posted before, I reluctantly use quite a few of their services. The fact of the matter is, you just can’t argue with results. Everything they do just seems to work better than the alternatives out there. And they continue to make my life easier.
I read about their new API - Google Charts API - and I had to give it a test drive. Just like so many of their other API offerings, this one is easy to use, well documented, and offers professional results with almost unlimited possibilities. This API allows you to easily embed charts in your web page through a simple http request (a png image is returned). They allow for quite a bit of customization and provide for numerous different charts (line chart, scatter plot, bar chart, Venn diagram, and pie charts). Definitely lives up to the Googlicious experience.
For example, here’s how I spent my day:
Google, I hate myself for lovin’ you.
A local radio station (94.9 The Sound, for local Cincinnatians) called to let me know my “Perfect 10″ selection of songs will be played on Friday at 7pm. If you’re in Cincinnati you can hear my playlist along with my lovely introduction (they make you record a little blurb.. I think I said something dorky like “Geeks Unite!” or something retarded like that.) For everyone else you can listen online at 949thesound.com. I’d actually forgotten about it since I submitted my list in August; figured I’d just missed it. Now I control the airwaves! Mwahhahha!!
In case you have nothing else to do tomorrow, Cal Evans and Zend’s DevZone will be hosting a live podcast with some of the founding members of PHPWomen.org. I’ll be there, along with Lig Turmelle, Elizabeth Marie Smith, and Sara Golemon. We’re taking live questions via phone or chat so it should be a hoot. And yes, we are screening the calls for all you crazies out there. But if you’re wondering about something, or you just want to call up and say hello, the instructions for phoning in or joining us via chat can be found in Cal’s post.
Date: December 4, 2007
Time: 7:00 PM (EST), 6:00 PM (CST)
Come hear me make a complete idiot out of myself
Chris Shiflett has put together a PHP Advent Calendar - basically 24 days of helpful PHP tips and tricks (similar to the Perl Advent calendar if you’re familiar with that). He was kind enough to include me in this fun project, and my “tip” is today. Mine was entitled “Writing Code is Like Doing the Dishes (or 5 Reasons Why Documenting Your Code Makes You a Better Coder)”.
You can also read Sean Coates’ tip for overriding the sending of mail and logging it instead - great for testing, especially if you’re going to be sending out your mail to a large group. Sean’s can be read here.
I recommend keeping an eye on Chris’ blog for the next few weeks, to see what other interesting things crop up.
Okay I must admit, nanowrimo was a lot harder than I anticipated. I finished not quite at 28,000 words… a little over half the goal. Yikes! I’m sure it didn’t help that they chose November (the only choice that would have been worse is December), as it’s so busy for me - seriously some days I barely have time to go to the bathroom. That’s what I get for having a largely seasonal business.
Ah well, all is not lost. I really enjoyed the challenge and now I have a pretty good start to a really solid piece of work that I actually like (a rarity in and of itself). I will definitely be finishing this puppy before too long, and what the hell - may even submit it to a few publishers. Not like I have anything to lose except my pride, which I already lost many years ago.
The challenge was great fun and I can’t wait to participate again next year. Maybe I’ll “train” for it a bit before jumping into it head first next time. Maybe I’ll do a couple of practice nanowrimo’s on my own. January looks good, and at least it will be much quieter at the workplace then.
Thanks for the memories, Nanowrimo!
Reading Davey Shafik’s recent blog post and the upcoming holiday got me to thinking about what I’m thankful for in my own life.
A while back, when I was feeling particularly stressed out, I came across this book which I treasure and continue to re-read whenever I’m feeling down. There is a lot of good advice in there for keeping things in perspective. One method in there that I’ve found useful is to keep a daily “thanks” journal. The idea is at the end of the day, you quickly jot the first 3 things that come to your mind that you are thankful for from the day. A great method of introspection - it really says a lot about what affects you and what you hold most dear. Whether you’re thankful for seeing a rainbow, getting a raise at work, or simply that the cop chose to pull over the person in front of you instead of you… whatever it is, you should write it down.
So looking back at my days, I see some common themes of things I’m very thankful for:
1) Kids and family. I don’t think a day went by when I didn’t find something funny my kids did or said that made me smile. I’m also very thankful for my husband of ten years and the great times we’ve shared. My parents also make me grateful for being around - they live 8 minutes from my house and I see them all the time. I’m so lucky to still have them with me. I was also able to visit with some distant relatives who made a surprise visit to Cincinnati this year, which I was very happy about.
2) Friends. Either from IRC, irl, OINK-PUG, or somewhere else. I’m very thankful for little things they do or say that make me smile and make the day better.
3) Opportunities. I’ve been blessed with some wonderful opportunities this year, and although I wasn’t able to take advantage of all of them, I’m still extremely grateful for them (my apologies for those employment opportunities I had to turn down because of my current situation). I’m also very blessed to have been able to attend a few PHP conferences this year and to have met in person some of the friends I only knew through IRC and email.
4) Dumb stuff. I find that I’m thankful for even dumb little stuff, which I’m not really sure why. I was thankful for shows like “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” for giving me an hour of dark humor. I was thankful for making it to the post office on time to mail some important letters. I was thankful that the guy at the car wash honored my coupon even though it had already expired (and I’m sure they do that for everyone).
5) Blessings in disguise. I kind of broke the rule a bit because I also wrote down some things that were bothering me – but my rationale is that if you write things down, sometimes it separates them from your brain and you won’t be so bothered by them. And it’s funny - looking back on the things that bothered me made me thankful for them. I was particularly bothered when I lost the novel I’d been working on. But it worked out for the better. I was worried that our October giftsforengineers sales were slower than we projected, but it got our asses in gear and now November’s kicking ass. I was very, very, very upset when I lost my diamond engagement ring at the beach (where we went for our 10th anniversary-oh the irony) but the ring was completely insured, and my husband and I were able to go ring shopping all over again. So although I can never replace the sentimental value of the ring, my husband and I were able to share the experience again 10 years later, and I was able to get a beautiful ring which I love… not exactly “thankful” I lost that ring, but “thankful” that it was at least insured and the insurance company was wonderful to deal with.
I still get depressed, stressed out, upset and frustrated, but I think those times are fewer and far between than they have been. Things are not always great, but somehow they seem to work out for the better eventually. I really do have so much to be grateful for - next time I’m complaining, won’t somebody tell me to stfu?
So I’ve now broken the 10,000 word mark with Nanowrimo, and it’s been quite a tricky feat. November and December are traditionally our busiest months with the store, and this year has been no exception. While I’m glad business is picking up from a somewhat slow October, I also know that from next week on, my life will be one ginormous workload.
It bothers me that I’m only up to 10,700 words during the lightest part of an uber busy month. I don’t know how I’ll find the time to finish, but at this point, it’s become a Personal Challenge to finish. I won’t get glory, fame, or fortune, but I’ve never backed down from a Personal Challenge and I’m not about to start now. (I know that sounds ridiculous, but it’s like once something clicks in my brain, I’m driven to finish it no matter what… it’s getting it to click in the first place that’s the tricky part).
I had some difficulties with writers block earlier today, but one of the best pieces of advice from the nanowrimo staff was to just write something. So I flipped over to a blank page, and just wrote a little bit about my characters. I was finding it hard to keep track of them all anyway, and character development is not my strong suit. As I wrote about them, I could picture each one clearly in my mind, and it really helped sort it all out in my brain. I also started writing a brief synopsis of the plot, then realized I didn’t necessarily want to know. That’s been my goal this time around - to not have things neatly planned out, but to let them unfold naturally. So instead of hashing out the rest of the plot, I returned to my work in progress, refreshed and excited to see what happens next. I also went back in and filled in some character holes to give my people a little more depth now that I had a better idea of who they are.
I am fully aware that this whole thing is not about the end result (I have a feeling that at the end, I will have another steaming pile of crap to add to my collection) but completely about the process. I feel like it’s not only making me a better writer, it’s giving me the discipline to sit down and write every single day, even if it’s just for 15 minutes. It’s making me excited about writing again, when the thought of putting fiction down on paper quite frankly made me want to vomit. It’s giving me hope that someday I might do this full time. Okay, I’d still like to continue to eat, so maybe not so much that last one… but it definitely has given me my creativity back.
One other thing that I think is cool (and that I hadn’t really counted on) is the effect it’s having on my daughter. She has been writing and illustrating stories since she was 4 years old, some of which are hilarious and surprisingly insightful. She would see me writing, and start writing her own stuff… but she would also pick up 2 bad habits of mine; 1) my lack of dedication to finish my stories, and 2) my own harsh self-criticism and perfectionistic nature. It really bothers me when I ask to read something she’s written and she reluctantly hands it over and says “well, it’s not very good. I don’t like it very much.” or “I’m not a very good writer, why do you want to read this?” So Nanowrimo has taught me to finish what you start, and quit worrying about how good it is. If it’s crappy, it’s crappy, but at least it was worth the ride. I hope I can instill that in her before it’s too late and she decides otherwise.
1/5 of the way done and looking forward to the future. If anyone is still up for the challenge, I don’t think it’s too late to get started, as long as you’ll have some time in the foreseeable future to get caught up. If you do pick it up - good luck to you!
So it’s the first day of NaNoWriMo, and after about an hour total, I’m up to 1072 words. At 1000 words per hour, this will take me roughly 50 hours to complete, thus averaging out to about 1 1/2 hours per day to complete. I think this is a low estimate, so either I just have a lot to say, or I’m optimistic about how long I can keep up that pace.
I almost started writing last night at midnight just because I’d really been looking for the excuse to write… but alas I couldn’t stay up that long and conked out at about 11:30. I was able though to get up a little early and get some writing in before anyone else got up. Made me tired as heck this afternoon, but the peace and quiet was glorious.
I’ve been using Google Docs since I’m usually pretty mobile and can switch to up to 4 different computers during the day, depending on who’s around me and if they need the computer I’m currently working on. Since I didn’t have much luck with the USB thing (overwriting info FTL!), and apparently I have never learned my lesson with regard to backups, Google Docs made perfect sense. It basically does everything Open Office and Word does, and even throws in a few extra bonus items. Not only can you share your doc with others (of course) it gives me info I need such as word count, and of course keeps track of revisions so I can roll back if I completely F something up.
One thing I didn’t know about Google Docs, which turned out to be pretty cool is the info they give you on the Flesch- Kincaid Readability Tests (Flesch Reading Ease and Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level) and the Automated Readability Index . Basically these indicators tell you how easy it is for someone to understand your writing. Right now I’m at a level of 67.5, which is just about at the “Reader’s Digest” level… 8th & 9th graders can easily understand my writing. I haven’t decided yet if that’s a good thing.
At any rate, the first day was/is exciting and even though I have no idea what my novel is about or where it’s going (something I’ve never actually done before- I usually have it all neatly planned out beforehand), I find it refreshing to see how it all pans out. I think I’ll be just as surprised as my reader.
I don’t have a title yet, or a plot, but it’s set in the future and the main character is a space age undertaker who’s job it is to transport and ship dead bodies out into space (since the earth has become so overcrowded, cemeteries on any habitable tract of land have been gobbled up by eminent domain). Wonder what’s going to happen.
If you weren’t able to attend ZendCon this year, you missed out on a fun activity put together by the one and only Cal Evans of DevZone - the PHP Trading Cards. The goal was for attendees to collect as many as they could to win a free conference pass back (congrats, Spoon!). At any rate, Cal has released the cards on Flickr, and here’s mine:
Some of you may know I’ve been working on writing a novel for a long time. I had recently gotten the urge to pick it back up again and had been diligently working on it the last week or so, when lo and behold today happened. Today was one of those days you’d really just like to forget about… a few things happened which I won’t go in to, but the icing on the cake was when I pulled out my current work only to find the file had completely been corrupted (and although I usually keep a backup on a flash drive, I’d inadvertently overwritten that with another project). Basically months of work were lost in one fell swoop. *sigh*
I’m a firm believer in the “everything happens for a reason” mantra, and goofy as it sounds, there are times when things just work out. In a completely unrelated event yesterday, I was reconnected out of the blue with an old writing buddy from the now defunct Cincinnati Writers Project. A few hours ago, he sent his Facebook contacts a message about this NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). Although I was sick to death to know I’d just lost all my work, I clicked on the link just for the hell of it.
This NaNoWriMo is basically a marathon for writers - the challenge is to write 50,000 words in the month of November. The goal is not to have a completely perfect piece of literature at the end, but to get your mind going and your fingers typing and see what comes out. At the very least, you have a first draft of something you can shape and mold later on. I have been re-inspired by this challenge, and have come to realize that my previous efforts were all a big steaming pile of crap anyway so it’s probably just as well. I feel refreshed and ready to try again from scratch with some other ideas that had been floating around my head… and that I had unsuccessfully been trying to incorporate in my current piece. Apparently I was being pretty stubborn in my current approach and I really just needed a kick in the ass to get me back on track.
So if there are any other writers out there (aspiring or otherwise) - I highly encourage you to sign up for NaNoWriMo and let’s share the pain together.
In case you’re interested, here are the slides from my recent talk at ZendCon. My presentation was on E-Commerce and how PHP can be used in many other ways besides just a simple shopping cart. We use PHP in virtually every facet of our company - we really are powered by PHP. I’ve not done public speaking to a larger group in a while, (most of my public speaking experience is through teaching e-commerce) but I fared better than I thought. I usually end up completely humiliating myself in some form or another (ask me sometime about the speech I gave to my high school senior class.)
At any rate, I did get some positive feedback from some attendees - several of which were thankful that someone had touched on PHP in small business use. Again, I want to stress to all conference organizers that not everyone can practically use methodologies that are geared toward enterprise, and smaller, simpler solutions for the smaller dev shops still do have a place at these things. Hell, maybe I’ll organize a new PHP conference (as if there aren’t enough already) that’s geared toward small business and just leave big business out of it altogether 
.
Overall, it was a great experience as conferences always are, and even though I didn’t get to attend a lot of presentations (due to work and some other external factors) I did pick up a few tidbits here and there. Besides the PHP knowledge you can obtain, another benefit to conferences like these are the social connections you carry home with you. You can connect through IRC, mailing lists, forums, and other ways… but when it comes right down to it, there is no substitute for real face-to-face human interaction. And if it occurs while enjoying an adult beverage or two, and maybe some crazy karate guys chopping up skulls, then all the better. I felt very fortunate to be able to meet several people in person that I had only previously known by name, and to meet some new people as well. Just like college, it’s perhaps not only about learning information but also going through the experience that makes you better off on the other side.
I also want to personally thank Cal Evans and Zend for allowing phpwomen.org the opportunity to promote our cause - it was wonderful to see so much support from men and women attendees alike. I especially liked seeing our signature purple t-shirts everywhere, and I hope everyone wearing one comes to visit our site and forums. A lot of guys brought shirts back to the PHP women working in their department - bonus points for all of you, and we appreciate your help spreading the word.
I don’t know if my liver can handle it, but I do look forward to going to next year’s conference. Hope to see you there!
I recently read on Ajaxian about a recent press release concerning a lawsuit brought on by the National Federation for the Blind. The suit was aimed toward Target (more specifically, target.com) and the poor state of the site’s web accessibility. Great news for the visually impaired – e-commerce businesses in California are now required by law to make their sites accessible (under the Americans with Disabilities Act). This is also a wake-up call to the rest of the e-commerce merchants out there (and really any web developer), that they can no longer ignore this part of the population. We’ve been somewhat guilty of this ourselves; a few web-accessibility issues have been on the “to-do” list for too long; being pushed down the list by other seemingly more urgent things. Kudos to the NFB.
I’ve been intrigued by Ruby and Rails for a while now but I’ve only really tested the waters out of curiosity. If time was of no consequence, I’d probably have gotten a lot further in my Programming Ruby book, but dabbling with Rails and Ruby both are as far as I got. I was tempted by the quick deployment of rails, but also uncomfortable with the so-called Golden Path.
I also lurk on an agile programming mailing list (which are mostly made of RoR guys). One of them recently sent around this article by Derek Sivers on O’Reilly Net: 7 Reasons I Switched Back to PHP After 2 Years on Rails. Of course my opinion on this is biased, but I think he makes a few interesting points. The first of which is basically that PHP can do anything you want it to do. This is my favorite reason for using PHP - it thrills me that I can basically just make it do what I want it to do. And if I can’t get something to work right, nine times out of ten, it’s my own fault for not using the language properly or my own faulty logic- not something I can blame PHP for. PHP really does free your mind to create whatever your imagination can dream up.
The second point I wanted to highlight was regarding integration. This is a huge benefit that I use on a daily basis. There are so many third party apps, libraries and code snippets that can easily be integrated to your current PHP systems - it really can make things seamless. I love this - everything just plays nice together. (Well, most times anyway).
It’s an interesting opinion article, so if you haven’t seen it and you want to annoy your RoR pals, send them the link: http://www.oreillynet.com/ruby/blog/2007/09/7_reasons_i_switched_back_to_p_1.html
“What’s your name?”
“It’s Jean… but some guys call me Shawna.”
“Nice to meet you Jean.”
Some people take their names very seriously. Others, like me, have spent a lifetime of answering to various and sundry nicknames. I’ve been called Betsy, Betty, Bet-head (long story, not what you think!), Beth, Liz, Lizzy, and of course Elizabeth. Maybe it comes from having an easily nicknamed-name like Elizabeth, but I really have no attachment to one over the other. I’ve got coffee mugs with all different names - personalizing something for me is usually a nightmare. For a while back in ‘95, my online nick was NtrplntJnt so I was often called Janet, as well. And then of course there were the fake bar names I’d give out, because it was easier than saying “I’m Elizabeth” in a super-loud, super-crowded bar. In short, asking me what my name is, is sort of a can of worms you don’t wanna open.
After thinking about it, I rarely call those close to me by their real name in return. My kids only get their real name if I’m scolding them or if I need their attention. Otherwise it’s “Willer,” “Willarina,” “Willeroo".. instead of “Will” or “William". Hell, I can’t even call my dogs by their real name either, which in hindsight must be really confusing for them.
At any rate, I bring this up because for a while now, there has been a bit of confusion between me and Elizabeth Marie Smith, and now I’ve been told there’s at least one more Elizabeth in the PHPWomen mix. Since the NtrplntJnt thing, I’ve kept my online nick as “Elizabeth” or “ElizabethN” usually, but perhaps I need a new nick for differentiation purposes. So I beseech you dear reader, send me your ideas for a new nick… and as long as it isn’t “bigfatslut07″ or something similar, I’ll consider it.
I’ve been using Google Reader for a while, and I’ve found it to be one of the most stable and easiest to use readers out there. My only (well not only) complaint, and I’m sure the complaint of many others, was that there was no search function embedded within it. Oh the irony.
Well now I can rest easier at night, and actually find crap I’ve been looking for… they finally have added the search function for us all to revel in.
A bit belated, but my podcast for Cal made it to the PHP Abstract series of podcasts posted on Zend’s DevZone. In this episode, I’m talking about telecommuting and some of the things I’ve found over the years to be potential gotchas. If you’ve got an extra 5 minutes give it a listen and let me know what you think. And don’t worry, you won’t hurt my feelings
The airfare statistics are out again, and yet again, Cincinnati has the highest airfare in the country. Yes, with an average fare of $531.50, we even rank above Anchorage, Alaska, and Honolulu, Hawaii.
Some people blame the Delta hub here for the high fares. Some blame the fact that because people end up going to cheaper cities nearby to fly, the prices here are raised to make up the difference. I’m no expert, and I certainly don’t know the intricacies involved when pricing a ticket. However, I do know that it makes no sense that a flight out of Dayton (that stops in Cincinnati) costs $250, while the same flight starting in Cincinnati costs $500+. Essentially, I save $250+ by driving to Dayton, flying back to Cincinnati, then continuing on my merry way to my real destination. Years ago, they would let you just skip that first leg, pick up the flight in Cincinnati, and save your money, but I don’t think they will let you do that anymore.
Yet again, I beseech the powers that be to get your heads out of your asses and do whatever it takes to bring Cincinnati’s fares back down to where they should be. God knows how many companies have chosen not to relocate here because of the high airfares. And we’re all tired of driving. Get with it already!
After some negotiations, I’m pleased to announce that giftsforengineers.com has gained exclusive rights to sell some of Roger Penwill’s cartoons on merchandise. He’s a fabulous cartoonist based out of the UK, and we’re very excited to see his stuff on our t-shirts. Thanks, Roger! The full press release is below.
Giftsforengineers.com Obtains Exclusive Rights to Sell Cartoonist Roger Penwill’s Merchandise
CINCINNATI, OH (July 24, 2007)
Giftsforengineers.com is happy to announce an exclusive licensing arrangement with Roger Penwill, renowned science and engineering cartoonist based in the UK. Giftsforengineers.com will now be able to sell merchandise such as t-shirts, coffee mugs, and such featuring Penwill’s cartoons.
“We are always looking for unique items that appeal specifically to engineers; gifts you can’t just pick up anywhere. Our new arrangement with Roger Penwill allows us to bring his humor and artistic talent to those individuals in search of gifts for their hard-to-buy-for engineers,” says Elizabeth Naramore, Vice President, Web Development. “We are very excited about this line of products we are able to offer, and we’re sure it will not only help our customers provide excellent gifts, but it will significantly impact our core business as well.”
About Roger Penwill
Roger Penwill was a regular cartoonist for CADalyst magazine for many years, having previously provided cartoons for A/E/C Systems’ Computer Solutions magazine. His cartoon collections have been published in the USA, China and UK. In the UK, his works have appeared in The Times, Financial Times, Sunday Telegraph, The Countryman and specialist publications. He has also done work for Autodesk, Inc. and Bentley Motors, as well as providing cartoons for commercial calendars, greetings cards, Christmas cards and books.
Roger became UK President of the Federation of Cartoonists Organisation (FECO) in 1999 and FECO President General 2001-2005. He currently acts as the FECO Vice-President General. He is also a member of the British Cartoonists Association, the Cartoonist Club of Great Britain, and a founder member of the new Professional Cartoonists Organisation. He is a Fellow of the Royal Society of Arts, Manufactures and Commerce (RSA). Roger also is the orginator and Chairman of an International Cartoon Festival held annually in Shrewsbury, UK, since 2004.
About GiftsforEngineers.com
Giftsforengineers.com has been in operation 2001 and has since increased it’s product offering to over 350 unique items for engineers and techies of all types. It is operated by Inflection Point, Inc., a privately owned company based in Cincinnati, Ohio. Giftsforengineers.com has been featured in The Cincinnati Enquirer and The Dallas Morning News.
CONTACT:
Elizabeth Naramore
Vice President, Web Development
513-947-1122 ext 111
enaramore@inflection-point.com
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Mark Twain once supposedly said “When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Cincinnati because it’s always twenty years behind the times.” Normally, this is a pretty accurate statement, but when it comes to chocolate bubble gum, I guess we’re only about 7 months behind everyone else.
Chronic Chocoholic Dieters such as myself can now give a little cheer as this new (new to me, anyway) bubble gum only has 25 teensy weensy calories… yet still allows you to get that taste of real Hershey’s chocolate for a nice long time. My views on the stuff: it ain’t Godiva, it’s more like a Tootsie Roll as far as chocolate taste goes. But what do you want for 25 calories that gives you chocolate eatin’ sensations for a good half an hour or so? Also, as in traditional bubble gum pieces (ala Hubba Bubba or Bubble Yum) , the pieces are ginormous so you have to divide it down the middle to keep from globbing your mouth shut.
My rating: B+, and I only wish I’d have thought of this first.
If anybody’s in the market for a new webhost (especially one that knows their PHP), let me make a suggestion: Try nexcess.net. After increasing difficulties with our previous company, I knew I had to make a change. Recurring downtime, not so helpful support, PCI compliance issues, an eggdrop attack which we’re still recovering from, inconsistent backups and several other issues which I won’t go in to, were all leading me to the point of breaking free- even perhaps going to a dedicated server (of which I have absolutely no time nor desire to manage).
So what was holding me back? For one, we’d been with the old company since 2003-2004. Our set up was comfortable in a familiar sense. The cost couldn’t be beat, and the thought of switching all those hosting accounts over quite frankly gave me a headache. As I perused my php|architect magazine a few weeks ago, I noticed (as I had many times before) the Nexcess.net ad prominently on the back cover. The thing that really caught my eye was the “we’ll transfer all your accounts for you, for free” statement which happened to strike a cord in me. Other webhosts may do this too, I don’t know, but it really stood out to me like a lighthouse in my stormy webhost relationship.
I sent them a few questions and much to my surprise, got a timely and helpful response to each of my concerns… and not by a sales guy, but by an actual support guy. The price was right, the staff was courteous and friendly, and sure enough - they did all my dirty work for me, transferring everything over without a hitch. The only thing I did was change the DNS servers for all my accounts, and they would have done that too if I’d asked.
Since then, any issue that has come up has been answered (usually within minutes) regardless of the time of day or night. In fact, it’s now roughly 11:00 pm on a Saturday night, and I’ve just finished an email exchange about one of my cron jobs (thanks Greg!).
I really can’t say enough good things about these guys and the fact that they are ingrained in the PHP community gives them extra bonus points from me. Anybody who is currently unhappy with their host, reselling plan, VPS, or dedicated server should really take a look at what they have to offer.
It’s been a while since I’ve written for my friends at International PHP Magazine, but I was happy to contribute to their recently released June edition. I did an interview with the new PEAR Group on the future of PEAR. I’m glad to see such enthusiasm and collaboration among the newly elected group; I think we’ll all benefit from some of the changes they’ll be making (and have already started to make). A big personal thanks goes out to each member of the group for their feedback.
To read the full article you can purchase a single copy of the magazine - or you can peruse the Table of Contents before you buy.
ZendCon recently announced their speakers lineup, and imagine my surprise to see that my talk had been accepted. I’ll be speaking on PHP & E-commerce and some of the things PHP can easily do besides allowing you to set up “just a shopping cart.” Given the number of talks on the Zend Framework, I’m hoping my e-commerce talk won’t be too out of place– it’s more for the Business Case track anyway. It won’t be too code-intensive, but I hope to make it entertaining and educational at the same time. I’m also proud to give more representation to the little guys - conferences tend to focus more on enterprise, and I’m glad I can show what a profound impact PHP can have on the bottom-line.
Now, if I can just get the internet retailing industry to pay attention to open source (and PHP) then I’ll truly be a happy camper.
Being in e-commerce, I get all kinds of marketing/optimization/other crap newsletters, articles, white papers, and what have you. Most of it is junk, but every now and then I come across a nugget of information that I really find helpful.
I received one such nugget from a person named Perry Marshall who is very good at optimizing Google Adwords but who also has some good words of general advice from time to time. This came in a regular email he sends anyone subscribed to his list. This email was entitled “Sometimes You’ve Just Gotta FIRE a Customer!” He tells a few horror stories about problematic customers who take “the customer is always right” to the extreme and who refuse to be at the very least cordial with his employees. In fact they are downright rude and no amount of jumping through hoops will placate them. The cost of trying to “win these customers over” is always too high and you as a service provider end up in a lose-lose situation completely. The moral of the story is that it’s basically okay to cut the customer loose and essentially say “I don’t want your business any more.”
We’ve come across several such customers, one recently in particular who apparently thinks that our Building Plans tube of Engineering Chocolates is akin to a kidney or other important bodily organ when it didn’t arrive on time. We jumped through numerous hoops for said customer and ended up losing a total of roughly $94 on the deal, only to have her repeatedly send us nasty emails; emails I wouldn’t send my worst enemy. It really makes me wonder what kind of life these people lead… what makes them so very angry? What keeps them from at least adhering to common decency and polite communication? And more importantly, who the hell marries these people?
While Mr. Marshall chooses to confront such nasty customers bluntly by flat out telling them their business is not worth it to him if they are going to treat him and his employees in such a way, I prefer the more passive-aggressive approach:
First, let me say that we take customer service very seriously here at giftsforengineers.com and we consider our customers like part of our family. We always try to take care of them the best we can but apparently sometimes even our best isn’t good enough. I’m sorry to have caused you such deep disappointment, grief and embarrassment with your gifts as that was certainly not our intent. It’s amazing the effects simple chocolates can have. I do hope you can forgive us but if you choose not to order from us again I understand.
I doubt that this individual is smart enough to pick up on my ironic sugary sweetness, but it made me feel better to point out how absurd the whole situation really was.
I am a firm believer in providing excellent customer service, but at some point you have to make the decision to cut a customer loose. When it starts taking a toll on your resources (both in time, money and energy) then it’s simply not worth it. THESE PEOPLE WILL NOT BE HAPPY, no matter what you do! I think this not only applies to the e-commerce customer, but also to the web development client you may be contract working for (I’ve had some doozies there too). You have my official permission to sing a little Twisted Sister, and reclaim your freedom! You’ll be better off for it.
It’s been a while since I blogged - I’ve been so very busy, both personally and professionally. On the professional side, I just took on a new e-commerce client which I’m excited about, and we also have big things in the works for giftsforengineers.com. May is one of our busiest months in the year (we call it our “mini-Christmas") because of all the engineer grads being released out into the workforce. I’m glad to have a breather in June/July, although I have to admit, so far the breather hasn’t come… in a way I really hope that it does, although when business is good, you can’t complain too much. During the summer months I usually do a lot of code housekeeping and prepare for October through December (which is when we get crushed.)
I’ve recently been messing around a lot with extjs, which has proved to be a bit of a challenge considering my minimal knowledge of javascript and the lack of extjs documentation. I’ve had fun muddling through it all though, and slowly but surely am getting things to do what I want them to do. I may write a brief tutorial just for the javascript newbies, when it’s all said and done - extjs really is an awesome tool to use. (Big thanks to Elizabeth Marie Smith for showing me that). I’d like to try out dojo and Prototype now that I have a basis for comparison.
At OINK-PUG, we’re excited about an upcoming presentation on Wednesday by Jay Pipes on Tuning MySQL, and we’ve got our regularly scheduled meeting on June 21 coming up as well. If you’re in the area, it’ll be at the Brazenhead in Mason (which coincidentally is Ladies’ Night so I’m waiting to see how many of our guys show up in drag just to get discounted adult beverages).
We’re still trying to get our act together with the revision of BP5AM. I’m trying to decide whether or not I can make time for this, given all the other things going on. I really hate to see the revision not come to fruition, but all the authors are pretty swamped right now and a revision is desperately needed. So I guess we’ll see about that.
PHPWomen.org has been getting some good plugs lately, especially with our t-shirt giveaway at php|tek. We’ve been approached by numerous groups and individuals asking how they can help us help the women out there. That has been truly appreciated, and we’re working on the specifics of what all that will entail.
I also submitted a talk to ZendCon for the business track and what we’re doing with e-commerce and PHP besides just the shopping cart. Well I should say, I submitted it, then chickened out and removed it.. Then I got some balls and submitted it again. Then I removed it again, made some changes to it, and resubmitted it yet again. Mercifully the cut-off was the next day or I’d probably still be working on it. God, I’m such a dork.
On the personal side, June has kept us all busy, and it’s a bittersweet month for us. It holds 3 family birthdays, Father’s Day, and also the anniversaries of the loss of both my husband’s parents. It’s filled with barbecues, parties, and numerous informal get-togethers, which I absolutely love, but that keeps our calendar continually filled. My daughter decided she wanted a slumber party for her birthday so Friday night was filled with makeovers, nail polish, karaoke, and 4 squealing first grade girls. My 3 year old son desperately wanted to be madeover, but to my husband’s relief, settled for a Superman sucker instead. Some high points to the night - I got to watch “The Goonies” with them, which I love, and while cleaning for the party, I found my book Eliminating Clutter from your Life. No, the irony was not lost on me; my house usually looks like a small tornado has just ravaged it.
More on the personal side; I’ve also dusted off my novel yet again and have moved it from the back burner to at least somewhere in the middle. It’s funny when writing is in your blood- ideas just seem to eat at you until you get them out on paper. Unfortunately for me, I don’t have the time nor talent to make this my full-time profession; maybe someday when I become independently wealthy I can push everything else aside and move my novel up to the front. Lately, I’ve had to become a lurker in my writing group, which sucks, but something had to go and it couldn’t be my kids or my husband or my job .
In 8 weeks, my husband and I will celebrate our 10th anniversary (a few months early) by taking a trip to Grand Cayman with the kids. We had our honeymoon there, and have been there a few times since, but not since I had 2 kids under my belt (so to speak). I’m excited to go back there - it’s got such a special place in my heart - but I’m filled with trepidation at getting in a bathing suit in front of all those hoity-toity types… guess it’s time to start running again. Or maybe I’ll just make everybody else feel better about themselves by being the heaviest, palest person on the beach. It’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it. 
The beginning of summer is my favorite time of year… like the morning, the potential is all in front of me. I see all the wonderful things we’re going to do in the summer, and all the new year’s resolutions I’m going to keep (ok so I’m 6 months behind everybody else - sue me). I have a renewed sense of inspiration and excitement, as I have the whole summer to work on all my projects and my goals. I also have the whole summer to stop and smell the roses a bit with my kids. Between blowing bubbles, running in the sprinklers, making chalk hopscotch drawings on the sidewalk, and keeping the ice cream man in business, I might get something done… but then again I may not. Life is good.
I finally made it back Thursday night from this year’s php|tek conference. Despite the flaky internet connections (which is problematic at a lot of hotels and something over which you have no control) I think Marco and his team did a fabulous job, especially considering that there are companies whose job it is to only plan and run conferences… there weren’t any major issues or problems, and everything went off without a hitch (and with class I might add). Job well done, especially for a bunch of PHPheads
I don’t get to attend too many of these, but I was especially pleased to see a relatively high percentage of women there (and by high I mean 10% or so). And of course it was great meeting them and some of the other attendees. I really enjoy seeing how people are using PHP and hearing their stories. I only wish I’d had more time to mingle around and chat.
It was also great to meet people that I had chatted with over email or IRC and to put faces with names. It is funny to me when I meet people whose blog I regularly read - I feel like I know them, but of course they have no idea who I am, so it makes me out to be somewhat of a stalker. Sorry about that, Derick and Lukas.
The talks were very interesting, and as usual I found myself conflicted with wanting to go to more than one talk being held at the same time. What’s an attendee to do? As expected, there were several based on security, and I found the rest of the topics to be timely, helpful and diverse. I was able to glean good information from every one I attended. These speakers know what they’re doing and they do it well.
Marco and his team did a great job including innovative and interactive activities, like the php|tek live site with a photo stream, links to all the slides from the speakers, the conference program, and all kinds of other pertinent info for the attendees. We also got some great schwag and I loved the PHP Trivia contest, which challenged randomly chosen members of the studio audience to a battle of PHP wits. I know they’ve done the trivia contest in the past, but they shook it up a bit this time which was nice.
A couple of interesting observations I made while I was there:
So anyway, mad props to the php|a guys for a great conference. All your hard work really paid off. And for those who want the full photo spread, you can find it at Flickr.
I just read a little blurb that says the average preschooler requires attention once every 4 minutes, which works out to 210 times per day. 210 times of “mom!” 210 times of “I need help!” 210 times of “I have to go potty!". No wonder I’m a wreck by the end of the day sometimes!
I do have to give credit to Will and Emily who are super-sensitive to Mom’s work time (I’ve worked at home since 1996 - way before they came along), and who I would guess fall well below this average. However, that being said, even intermittent interruptions wreak havoc on a person’s concentration level. A while back I came across an article , based more on interruptions from email and such, but still pertinent:
…when someone is interrupted, it takes 25 minutes to cycle back to the original task. Once their work becomes buried beneath a screenful of interruptions, office workers appear to literally forget what task they were originally pursuing. We do not like to think we are this flighty: we might expect that if we are, say, busily filling out some forms and are suddenly distracted by a phone call, we would quickly return to finish the job. But we don’t. Researchers find that 40 percent of the time, workers wander off in a new direction when an interruption ends, distracted by the technological equivalent of shiny objects. The central danger of interruptions, Czerwinski realized, is not really the interruption at all. It is the havoc they wreak with our short-term memory: What the heck was I just doing?
I worked at a very high-paced, high-stress office for several years before I quit to work at home, so I feel as if I’ve been trained to handle interruptions most times (most times being the operative phrase here). And my family can usually tell when it’s “time to give Mommy her alone time.”
But the moral of my rant is this: ATTENTION DADS. Want to give your wife something she can really use for Mother’s Day (especially if she’s a stay-at-home mom)? Screw the flowers and the candy. Forget the cards. Take the kids out for some ice cream, or to Chuck E. Cheese for a few hours. Let your wife be in her own house without any interruptions to do her own thing. She may or may not choose to relax, but at least she’ll appreciate the mental break if nothing else.
Now, what the heck was I just doing?
In my Internet travels today, I came across this excellent reference article on CSS Floats. I am constantly intrigued by the principles of design and how to get stuff to look purty. Although I lack the talent to actually create something unique, I sometimes try to copy something I think looks cool. I got through about a third of the article before my eyes started to glaze over and I went into that “what the hell am I reading” state of mind I used to experience in Business Law 201 in college. Notwithstanding my own ineptitude, I was able to glean a few tidbits of info and I’m sure I’ll be coming back to this page next time I can’t get my damn box to float where I want. Thought I’d pass it along to anyone else stumped by floats.
It’s official - I’m now acting as the News Editor for php|architect and I’m very excited to be working with Marco and his crew on another project. As I said on Paul and Sean’s podcast, my goal is not to compete with Cal Evans or enygma’s phpdeveloper.org, but to act as just another resource for PHP developers to keep on top of things. The more information available to the PHP community, the better. (I think Chris and Cal do a superior job by the way). So anyway, if you have any newsworthy items, let me know by email at elizabeth..at..naramore..dot..net.
Also thanks to Paul for letting me plug PHP Women and helping to support our cause.
Ok, so because I work in e-commerce mostly, perhaps I’m super-sensitive to crappy customer service. Although I don’t mind (and sometimes prefer) to do business with the little guys, I usually have no problem with larger stores like Amazon.com. And while I know that they could really give a rat’s ass about me and my puny purchases, I decided I’m just going to see how long I can keep an order open. I ordered a gift on December 2, 2006 for my husband… some stacking dryer racks for his beef jerky that he makes. Not a big deal, 17 bucks. Although the item is marked “in stock,” it has not yet shipped, roughly 3 1/2 months later.
I keep getting messages that I need to “approve the delay” or “cancel my order". First I was going to cancel, then I thought I’d just do a little experiment to see how long it would take for them to really ship it. And since my husband doesn’t really care one way or the other, I thought it would be fun just to mess with them. I should mention that originally it was in stock and being sold by Amazon, it’s now being sold by fogdog.com. But it’s still listed as being “in stock” both on the amazon site and the fogdog site.
I’m projecting that it takes roughly 6 months to get this item, and when I finally do get it, Amazon and fogdog will have some ’splainin’ to do. I wonder what the record is for slow order fulfillment?
Could I just get this item anywhere? Of course I could. But now it’s a battle of wills - a test of fortitude, of perseverance. It’s the principle of it, now! I will not back down! I shall be victorious!
That is, until they just cancel my order and refund me my money.
Not only is “Google” just a fun word to say, there are so many fun toys to play with over there, sometimes I just can’t help myself. I already use Gmail, Google Talk, Alerts, Calendar, Docs & Spreadsheets, Adwords & Adsense, Google Earth, Google Reader, Google Notebook, and of course Google Maps. A handy presentation on the Google Maps API by a fellow OINK-PUG member (thanks Frank Glandorf) got me thinking about what could be done with the API, especially now with geocoding readily available. And even though it is a weekend and I have about a million other things to do, I just couldn’t help myself.
So I poked and prodded around the Google Maps API for a few hours, deciding that I would write a little app for my fugitive-catching husband. Playing with the maps was fun, but what I really was interested in was the geocoding. I was able to write a handy little app that would help catch his parole absconders by providing more information than he had from his reports. (I hesitate to go into this in too great of detail because of the nature of his job… not that his “clients” know or care what Google API means, but with my luck…)
At any rate, after banging my head on the wall while messing around with xml/kml/json and the xAL formatting of the returned info, I stumbled across this easy-peasy tutorial written by Jason Gilmore. I have this nasty habit of making things harder than they need to be - big thank you to Jason for acting as a voice of reason in all my javascript madness.
After actually completing the app for my husband, I felt empowered to tackle a problem we’ve had at the giftsforengineers.com store for a while. In January of 2006, the state of Ohio, in its infinite wisdom, decided to completely screw over all the online merchants operating from within the state. They decreed that all Ohio businesses should now collect sales tax based on the county where the goods or services were being delivered instead of based on the physical location of the business. In other words, before this new law, if I had a business located in Hamilton County, Ohio, I charged the same sales tax to everyone - whatever the Hamilton County tax rate was at the time of the sale. After this new law came into effect, I had to charge sales tax for whatever county my customer was located in. Not only do I now have to keep track of all 88 Ohio counties and their ever changing tax rates, I now have to figure out what county the customer is located in. Unfortunately, in the state of Ohio, one cannot go by zip codes alone, as zip codes span more than county. Attempts to integrate the Ohio Department of Taxation address/county database with our current system proved to be a monumental task, so we resorted to simply asking the customer to provide us with their county name and doing a quick lookup from that.
The problem comes in however, when a customer is buying a gift for another person, and having it delivered straight to the recipient. Many times they don’t know the recipient’s county, and thus the incorrect sales tax could be charged. Obviously our current system was not foolproof. Now, thanks to Google’s super-easy geocoding, I solved this problem with about 10 lines of code. My code now automatically looks up the county and the charges the applicable tax based on the customer’s delivery address.
I also took some time to play with the Google Custom Search Engine. I created a search engine for PHP Articles and Tutorials, but I only included the top 20 PHP resources for these. (Top 20 in my humble opinion, anyway). So now if I’m looking to increase my knowledge on a particular topic, but I don’t necessarily want to see millions of threads about it in PHP forums or anywhere else, I can do a quick search of just the sites I want. Although I’ll be tweaking this in the next few days, anybody’s welcome to use Elizabeth’s PHP Article Search. (Feel free to make fun of the awesome undesign of the site, you won’t hurt my feelings.)
[cross-posted on PHPThrowdown.com]
Wow, what can I say but w00t! The throwdown was a tremendous success and went off without any major problems. We’re still compiling all the final projects and I’ll be reporting some statistics about those (as in who was using what and how many competitors we had per category). I am excited to see what all has come of it.
I immensely enjoyed reading the live bloggers’ posts as they made their way through the 24 hours. All seemed to enjoy the experience in a masochistic sort of way, but that’s what it’s ultimately all been about. Coding just for the fun of it for as long as you possibly can. I wish we’d seen more live blogs from the competitors only because they were so fascinating and fun to read.
We’ll be sending around a feedback survey to the participants so we can make next year’s Throwdown even better. Once we get things sorted out, we’ll put together a timeline for when the winners will be announced. So bear with us as we work all this out.
I really have to acknowledge the efforts of Bill Barnett, my server admin, who singlehandedly managed to stay awake for the entire duration of all four Phases of the competition. He quickly and expertly addressed any concerns participants had and I am thoroughly impressed at his dedication to making this event such a success (especially since he ain’t getting paid a dime to do this ). Huge thanks go out to him, and next year we may even get him some help. Great job, Bill!
That’s it from our end for now. Stay tuned.
Sitting here at my keyboard (and being generally available during the course of the PHPThrowdown) I decided I’d be somewhat productive. I decided to finally take 2 years of log files and crank them through a local copy of AWStats which would let me overcome some of our server copy’s config limitations (such as not tracking dynamic URLs). My biggest obstacle was my own stupidity and distinguishing between the 3 different versions of Apache I had running on my machine (I’m sure I had a good reason for doing that, although I have no idea what that reason might be). It usually helps if you configure the copy of Apache that you’re actually looking at.
But after that, getting Apache, Perl and AWStats to all play together wasn’t so bad - just took some tweaking. I think AWStats is still my favorite log file analyzer.
[cross-posted on PHPThrowdown.com]
The Throwdown has officially begun! If you’re a competitor, and you’ll be live blogging - let the community know by posting your link in the comments of this post at the PHPThrowdown site.
Good luck to all those competing - we can’t wait to see what you’ll come up with.
Geez I’m getting crotchety in my old age. In our age of “innovation” people strive to come up with that really cool idea that’s never been done before. On the rare occasion this actually produces something cool. But like the yin that goes with the yang, we also get an influx of really dumb crap.
Just saw a commercial for this: Toothtunes. They’re toothbrushes that play rock or pop music (which you have to pay for individually for each song you want). Apparently this makes your child want to brush his or her teeth for a full two minutes. All this for the low, low price of $9.99 (that’s sarcasm, people).
Hey, here’s a thought. Get an egg timer. Put it in your bathroom. “Hey kids! When the timer’s up, you can stop brushing.”
Personally, I’d rather them put their R&D dollars into figuring out how to make toothbrushes at a better quality for a cheaper price, than adding on ridiculous bells and whistles like this. Oh wait, it’s made by Hasbro. What the heck does Hasbro know about good dental hygiene?
One more thing and then I’ll shut up about it. Someone needs to tell Hasbro that maybe Kiss’ “Rock and Roll All Night” might not be the best choice for a kid’s toothbrush. My two and six-year-olds do not need Gene Simmons telling them to “rock and roll all night, and party every day.” Looks like they could use some help in the “good taste” department as well.
Many know that my husband is a Parole Officer (insert joke about how we met) so he’s always been “armed & dangerous” - but he’s now really armed and dangerous in his new role in a Fugitive Unit created in their department. The story was picked up by the news and was in the papers today, and he may be interviewed on the morning news here in Cincinnati in the next few days. Congrats on being a bad-ass, honey.
Team is formed to hunt down fugitives
New unit targets parole violators
[cross-posted on phpthrowdown.com]
Registration is now open for the PHP Throwdown! A huge thanks to Ken Macke and Bill Barnett for helping with this. To sign up, go to our Sign Up! Page and get yourself registered.
Blogture.com has also offered to provide any competing individual or team a blog for live blogging throughout the competition. Details on this will be provided in your registration confirmation email.
And of course, if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact me at info _at_ phpthrowdown.com.
Good luck!
(Cross posted on PHPThrowdown.com)
Many people probably think the PHP Throwdown has stalled, but it’s quite the contrary actually. We’ve been mulling over many things and have come to some conclusions. So if you’re interested, read on!
Judges. The judges for the competition have been decided, and you can see the full list on the Judges page. Don’t try bribing them; trust me, I’ve tried and it doesn’t work.
Categories. We’ve been lining up some pretty nice prizes and as such, we realize that some of you lesser beings may be tempted to go to the dark side and cheat your way to the top. Therefore, although we may or may not have decided on the final categories, we may or may not reveal that we may or may not be revealing them a few days before the contest. Any information you may or may not have regarding the categories can be officially disregarded from this point on.
Prizes. As I said, we’ve got some terrific prizes in the works, and I’ll be announcing them in a few weeks, so stay tuned.
Sponsors. A tremendously huge shout-out to JupiterHosting who has graciously allowed us the use of server space. If you’re interested in becoming a sponsor, contact Elizabeth Naramore at info_at_phpthrowdown.com.
Registration. We’re going to be opening up registration after the first of the year, quite simply because I’m swamped at the moment. Stay tuned on this as well.
Da Rules. We’ve altered the rules a bit, so take a look. Yes, we actually have the power to do that… it’s good to be the king.
All that being said, we’re moving full steam ahead with the competition, so bear with us as we iron out some of the issues that stand before us. May the best coder win!
The PHP Throwdown gauntlet has been thrown down!
What: 24-hour coding competition to see who can code the best PHP app
When: January 27, 2007
Who: You! You may enter individually or as a team, so if you think you’ve got what it takes then read more.
We’re in the planning stages of the competition, so if you’re interested in being involved as a volunteer, drop me a note. We’re also looking for some interesting ideas for our sample apps so if you have one of those, then visit the site and leave a comment or drop me a note.
I’m really looking forward to seeing what some of you talented developers can crank out in 24 hours. Stay tuned for more information!
A quick note to say that International PHP Magazine’s October edition has been released. In this edition, my article is entitled Are You Making a Profit in Your Freelance Business?. Quick blurb from the intro:
As coders, it’s hard for us to figure out how much to charge for a project, and even harder to perform the follow-up administrative tasks like sending and checking up on unpaid invoices. As a freelancer, however, you are responsible for all aspects of managing your business, and if you’re not making enough money to support yourself and your family (or at least come out ahead on the projects you’re doing on the side) then you’d be better off sitting on the couch eating potato chips and watching Oprah. The article will help you manage those pesky finances and make sure you’re not pricing yourself out of a job.
Enjoy!
Last week, my children and I were involved in a car accident when another driver ran a red light and ran into us. It’s okay - we were all completely fine; it happened in downtown Cincinnati at low speeds and none of us required any medical attention at all. Of course, since then, I’ve had numerous conversations with insurance companies and body shops and such, and I thought I was reaching the light at the end of the tunnel. Interestingly enough, when I got home earlier today, there were 6 new messages on my phone. Sheesh! I thought, what do they want now?
After listening to the first few messages that simply wanted to talk to me “about the accident” one message was kind enough to shed a little light on the situation. It was from a chiropractor who had “seen the copy of the police report released today and wanted to make sure we were really all okay… since you know, it takes a few days for any injuries to show up.” Yes folks, I’ve now been “ambulance chased” by various and sundry law firms (who wanted to sue for my pain and suffering, of course) and medical doctors and chiropractors… and the phone calls keep coming.
It’s no wonder we live in such a litigious society… some of these lawyers were pretty good salesmen and I can see how they sell their services to someone who may not have even thought to take the other driver to court, but could really use some extra cash. Was it a PITA? Of course it was. Do I need to sue for my pain and suffering? Give me a break; of course not. But if I was living paycheck-to-paycheck I’m sure there would be a lawyer out there who could make a case for it. And I’m sure there is a doctor that would swear my stiff neck and back was due to the accident (even though I’ve had those symptoms for years… I work on a computer, duh).
Actually I feel very flattered that all these complete strangers care so deeply about my health and well-being after such a “traumatic” event… it gives me warm fuzzies.
It’s been a little over a week now since Lig and I originally sent out our request for the women of the PHP world to unite. In that week, we’ve had many people step up to donate their time and server space. Cal Evans was gracious enough to donate space, Laura Thomson generously donated a mailing list, and Lig installed a forum (which has been so active I can barely keep up!) We also have an IRC channel (#phpwomen on Freenode) in case you have a moment to chat. We’re currently in the process of choosing a CMS to act as our skeleton, so keep an eye out for that too.
We have had a terrific response, not only from the women, but also from the men, which is what I think is especially unique and wonderful about the PHP community. Even though it can be very intimidating to be one of a handful of females in a room of 200+ men, any insecurity I’ve felt has been self-imposed and certainly not by exclusion from anyone. I’ve been in other groups where the disdain was almost palpable, and I’ve personally not seen that at all in the PHP Community (either virtually on things like forums or IRC or in person at meetings and such). I do want to see women better represented and more visible, but I also appreciate the efforts made by those in the community to make us feel equal and included.
So in short, thank you, PHP community, and thanks to the awesome PHP women who make up a part of it.
Ligaya Turmelle and I were having a bit of a chat in the PHP Community IRC channel (#phpc) about women in the PHP world (or the lack thereof). We think it would be a great idea to start a women’s group for PHP programmers and we want to know who’s with us. We’ve all noticed the lack of females at conferences, user groups, and in print - let’s get together and change those numbers, shall we? So let us know if you’re in (you can contact me at elizabeth _at_ naramore _dot_ net or post a comment at Lig’s blog.)
Short version: it rocked!
Long version:
3+ days of collaboration, exchanging information, hiking, building campfires, and basically getting silly is now on my “highly recommended things to do before you die” list. Not only does a gathering like this provide you with an outlet to expand and share your knowledge on a professional level, it gives you an opportunity to relax with like-minded people and just plain have a good time. We had 12 total attendees, which made it nice to get together as a large group, but also allowed those who wanted to venture off in smaller groups to do so. There were ample opportunities to talk about technology and other subjects, and the conversations were always lively. I enjoyed the “take it as it goes” attitude we adopted, and I think it really fostered the development of professional relationships. The Wi-Fi and cell phone service was a little flaky, but I think we were all able to go with the flow, and we didn’t let it get in the way of our un-conference.
I really enjoyed Ben and Chris’s presentations on REST and regex, and they did a great job of making them easy to understand and professional. Thanks for all your hard work, guys!
I also greatly enjoyed the informal discussions that came up. Some of the topics we discussed included
* trying to hire good developers & the Zend certification’s role in that
* managing client expectations through agile development
* how books introduce people to PHP and how beginners may learn
pitfalls from the very beginning
* the Zend Framework and the front controllers
* simplepie.org’s RSS aggregator
* Ajax and accessibility issues
* JSON and JPSPAN
* why and how we all got into PHP
* the publishing industry
* s5
* astronomy and other related topics
* and numerous others
There were also others on our list that we didn’t get to talk about as a group, but perhaps we’ll continue those through our phpappalachia mailing list.
The weather was basically cooperative (except for the hailstorm we got caught in while hiking up to Clingman’s Dome on Day #2!) Thankfully Day #3 redeemed itself and we were able to make a return trip. We saw some amazing views although I was terrified to climb to the top of the observation tower, so I hung back near the bottom.
All in all I greatly enjoyed the mix of professional discussions with the informal attitude we adopted, and I am happy to have fostered some great PHP friendships. Heck, I even got to try some grits which I’d never had. I think the photos really captured the spirit of the conference.
I’m really looking forward to a bigger and better PHP Appalachia next year!
For anyone curious about what our plans are for the PHP Appalachia conference, we’ve posted our schedule on the site. Our plan is to keep things flexible, but with a pinch of structure, and a couple of formal presentations thrown in for good measure. If you’re going to be attending and you have any questions, don’t hesitate to send an email to the mailing list, or to me or Ben.
Being a Cincinnati native all my life, I’ve seen the Bengals go from the Superbowl to non-winning seasons from 1991-2003. It makes it really tough to root for a losing team, but I am definitely NOT a fair weather fan. Yes, I have an autographed trucker hat signed by Kenny Anderson and Chris Collinsworth (among others). Yes, I cherish my pair of commemorative 7UP Bengals bottles from 1973. And sadly enough, I’ll admit I’ve had my face painted orange and black on more than one occasion. I’d probably cry tears of joy if I ever met Marvin Lewis.
This being said, we play one of our biggest rivals tomorrow, the icky Steelers. Naturally, my husband is a huge Steelers fan so it gets a little crazy in our house on these days. I don’t have quite the animosity for them any more since they signed Big Ben Rothelisberger, who happens to be a fellow Miami University (of Ohio dammit) alum. And while he wasn’t smart enough to wear a helmet when he was riding his motorcycle, you have to give credit to someone who is playing an NFL game 10 days after having his appendix out. (10 days after mine was out I think I finally began to emerge from my hydrocodone fog and my biggest feat was staying awake for more than 2 hours at a time). That being said, I only have one thing left to write:
Go Bengals!
It’s getting closer - only 7 more days until PHP Appalachia. Looks like the weather will be cooperative, at least as far as they can predict today. I’m dusting off my camping gear and getting ready to head out.
I wanted to give a quick acknowledgement to our sponsors for the event, as posted by Ben on our PHP Appalachia site. We have so many sponsors, and so many door prizes to give away, a good time will definitely be had by all. Their donations are really helping our grass roots gathering come together, and we all greatly appreciate their efforts. I also want to give a quick thanks to Cal Evans who also personally donated numerous t-shirts and goodies as well.
Our rough schedule is in the final stages of completion, and besides alotting time for our presentations and lively campfire discussions, we’re also going to be setting aside time for lightning talks (in true OSCON fashion) so the attendees can take the floor for 5-10 minutes and speak about whatever’s on their mind. We’ve also of course included time for hiking, sightseeing, and simply hanging out around the campsite. I’ll be posting the schedule to the PHP Appalachia site once everything is finalized… or as finalized as we’re getting at this gathering.
Although it’s only a week away, you can still register for the event. Registration is only $15, and all attendees get a free t-shirt and free Wi-Fi while they’re at the conference. The more the merrier we say - so come join us! For more info, visit our site.
So I’m volunteering to do the PTA website and I’m searching for some warm fuzzy little quote about how wonderful children are, and blah blah blah… when this catches my eye on the “quotations” page:
I remember seeing something like this on Aaron Wormus’ website and I just think it’s so funny. It makes me want to keep clicking these links just to make the advertisers pay for such ridiculous automated systems.
Usually I’m bitching about those darn “Bratz” dolls that are Barbie’s trampy cousins, but this time I have a little bone to pick with the folks at Barbie. I saw a commercial for this today and I actually did a double take because I couldn’t believe this passed the test and made it to market:
http://barbie.everythinggirl.com/catalog/productbrd.aspx?sku=J9472
For the lazy:
Did you know Barbie® doll has a dog named Tanner™? This pooch is has a mouth, ears, and tail that move with your help! You can even “feed” Tanner dog biscuits! After the pup goes potty, just clean up with a special trash can and magnetic scooper. Good doggie!
Yes, that’s right. The dog comes with it’s very own dog shit that you can clean up with a little Barbie pooper scooper. That’s funny, when I was little, we had our Barbies pretend to go shopping, have sleepovers, or go to birthday parties. And this is what kids want to pretend now? I’d like to obtain a list from Mattel of every girl who buys one of these things and have them come to my house any ol’ time they want to… with 2 dogs weighing over 200 collective canine pounds, we have plenty of shit they can clean up.
Normally I like to keep things light on my blog and most times my posts consist of humorous takes on life. But there has been a situation here locally that literally has me heart sick.
It started while I was out of town on vacation, but I came back to find the entire Cincinnati area looking for a 3 year old boy named Marcus Fiesel. He had gone missing from a nearby park that is so close to my house that we walk there often. Apparently the mother (who was a foster mother) had passed out and Marcus had “wandered off". Hundreds of volunteers spent hours and hours searching with no luck. His photo was plastered everywhere. Local donors had offered thousands of dollars for clues on the boy’s whereabouts. Both the foster mother & father and the boy’s biological mother (who lives a bit north of the city) gave tearful pleads for the boy’s return. But all was to no avail; he had simply vanished.
However, there were many things that weren’t quite adding up, and many people (myself included) speculated that things were not as they would seem. Little did we know how horrible this story would become, but I’ll get to that in a moment.
The mother said that she had passed out in the park and that the boy had wandered off. When she regained consciousness, he was gone. The security camera at the park’s main building showed no proof that the boy had ever been there. There was no one that could verify that he had been seen with the mother. Oh wait, I take that back. There was supposedly a “grey haired” woman that had seen them there, which the police had desperately been trying to locate… but no one ever came forward.
Then it comes to light that the social services caseworker that had been there the week before hadn’t actually seen Marcus because the foster mother told her he was sick in bed and didn’t want to disturb him.
Then this comes to light as well:
Just five days after their three-year-old foster son went missing, the family of a still unaccounted for Marcus Fiesel has “moved” from their Union Township home. Marcus Fiesel went missing in Anderson Township’s Juilfs Park Tuesday after his foster mother allegedly suffered a medical emergency there.Neighbors of the foster family told 9News that Liz Carroll, the foster mother, has been released from the hospital. Neighbors also told 9News the family left their rented home on Valleywood Drive Saturday night with many of their possessions. One neighbor claims they looked to be in a hurry as they moved out.
And one more odd twist in the case:
Friends, family and law enforcement also say a third adult living with Liz and David Carroll was David Carroll’s live-in girlfriend.Liz Carroll’s mother said that the other adult, identified as Amy Baker, had Liz baby-sit her children and later began dating Liz’s husband David when Liz and David nearly divorced earlier this year.
So basically we all knew it wasn’t looking good for poor Marcus, and there was so much more to this story than meets the eye.
But before I go on, let’s take a look back at Marcus’ life before foster care, shall we? He was autistic, and had the development of a 12 month old although he was three years old. In January of this year, he “fell” out of a two-story window while in his biological mother’s care. Although it was deemed an accident at the time, 3 months later, he was nearly struck by a car while found wandering the streets alone at night. At that point:
In April, officers removed three children — including the now missing boy — from the Grime Street home of their biological mother, Donna Trevino, police said. Marcus Fiesel’s bedroom had a foam mat, and there was feces on the walls and carpet, according to police.
God only knows what happened to this child before all that.
And then the news comes today that the foster parents have been arrested.
The prosecutor said that on Friday, August 4, the Carrolls went to a family reunion in Williamsburg, KY, while Marcus was left at their home in Clermont County in a closet, where he died.When the Carrolls came back on August 6, Marcus was dead, police said.
According to police, Marcus’ body was then taken by David Carroll and burned in Brown County.
The Carrolls are in police custody.
So this little boy, who was mentally and developmentally disabled, had fallen from a two-story window, almost got struck by a car, and lived amidst feces before he was “rescued” and put into foster care. Here, his guardians went out of town to a happy ol’ family reunion, where he was left alone, locked in a pitch black closet for three days to die a slow, painful, and terrifying death.
As a mother this absolutely rips your heart out. It brings me to tears, not only for poor little Marcus’ soul, but for humanity as well. What kind of a human can do this act, then turn around and give a tear-filled plead for his return?! It almost defies comprehension, it’s so horrific, and I can only pray that God sent an angel to be with him in that closet… and I know that he is definitely in a better place than this hell on earth he was unwittingly born in to. God bless his little soul.
I just returned from my xp-cinci group meeting (that’s extreme programming, not windows xp for the uninformed) and we had a presentation on web security. Now, these guys are RoR guys predominantly, but even so, I was interested to hear how XSS and SQL injections can affect virtually any web app. Even more interesting to me was that being a PHP coder, I was acutely aware of these attacks and the dangers associated with them, while many of the others didn’t seem to be familiar with them at all. The irony was not lost on me, believe me.
One of the tools the speaker used to test an app (and thus show how susceptible you are to injections and the like) was WebScarab. Created by OWASP, WebScarab is a Java-based stand alone app that primarily acts as a proxy server (not unlike Chorizo! in that regard) where you can see any HTTP/HTTPS headers and info sent between server and browser. How easy it was to intercept requests even after any javascript checks have been done, change their values and then send them to the server. You think a $_POST value is safe? Ha! I laugh in your general direction. And I’ve only scratched the surface of all the functionality within this package. I downloaded this and played with it a bit, although I plan on running more of my apps through it just for the heckuvit. Not enough hours in the day, I tell you.
One other toy I plan on checking out is WebGoat - your very own personal hacking ground that encourages you to try and break the app. Not only is it fun for the kiddies, it’s educational too. Kind of like Sesame Street for aspiring black hats. But to catch a criminal, you have to think like one, right? And it’s actually fun, so check it out!
Am I the only one that’s noticed the eerie similarity between breakfast foods (cereals particularly) and the concept of “stealing"? I mean, think about it. We have:
And these are just the one’s I’ve noticed. What other subliminal criminal references are out there? And why isn’t anyone trying to steal my Cheerios? And why is it contained to breakfast foods… or is it? Hmmm…..
International PHP Magazine has released their July ‘06 edition. This time I begin a new series entitled “Freelancer’s Corner” where I tackle common problems to the PHP freelance coder. In July’s edition, I look at gaining new clients and keeping the old ones. I hope you will find it useful if you’re a PHP freelancer or consultant. So go check it out!
Giftsforengineers.com has donated some not-so-fabulous prizes to be given away to random attendees throughout the conference. It ain’t no iPod or Xbox but we do what we can. To check them out, go to the PHP Appalachia site.
Well, I’ve started running again after a long hiatus. I feel like I’m completely starting over, but I guess you gotta start somewhere. I’ll be doing a 5K in October with some friends, and hopefully I’ll do better than my last one. Then perhaps I’ll tackle a 10K - and maybe even the Flying Pig Marathon here in Cincy by May. Who knows?
Just to let all the slackers out there know - we’ve been able to work out an extension on the campsite reservations with the Cherokee/Great Smokies KOA until August 1. So you have a little more time to make sure you get the discounted rate when reserving your site or cabin. After that, you’re on your own. I reserved a cabin on the river, mainly because I’m old and I think I’m going to need some sort of a bed after driving 7 1/2 hours to get there. Otherwise I’d be tenting it!
Remember, registration is only $15.00 so why not come hang out with us?
Just a reminder - in order to qualify for the PHP Appalachia discount at the KOA, reservations need to be made by July 5. So if you haven’t yet signed up for the PHP Appalachia campout, now’s the time!
We are also accepting suggestions for discussion topics and presentations – if you’re interested in presenting, or if you have a topic that you would like to discuss with the group, let me know at elizabeth [at] naramore [dot] net. Remember, nothing super-formal, but we do understand the need for a bit of structure.
Even if you can’t make it this year - I’d be interested to know why… it will help us plan for next year.
Any feedback you would like to share is greatly appreciated. Otherwise, get your rump in gear and register!
For more info: http://www.phpappalachia.org
My daughter turned 6 years old today (yes, she’s 6 on 6/6/06) - proof that she’s really a devil child, ha ha! No, but in all seriousness, I’m so very proud of her and the little girl she’s become. She kept saying “mommy, I still feel like I’m 5. My brain doesn’t know I’m 6.” I know how she feels; my brain still thinks I’m 25. Heh.
To see your children grow up is such a bittersweet thing. You are so proud of them and their accomplishments at each milestone, and you can’t wait to see them reach the next one. But then again, when they’re young, they are still so innocent and happy because the hardships of life haven’t yet jaded their outlook. You dread when they’ll get some of those inevitable life experiences like being bullied, or getting made fun of, or getting their heart broken. You want to protect them so badly, but you know it’s something they must go through themselves. (Plus, it’s really great to still be considered “cool” by your kids, and you know that ain’t going to last much longer.)
My birthday wish for Emily is to always be able to see the silver lining in the cloud, because there will always be clouds. But if you can see the good in things, then you’ll always be happy.
The latest edition of International PHP Magazine is out. This time I focused my article on a very forward thinking company that is implementing agile processes with their PHP software development. This was the last installment of the “PHP From the Shop Floor” series; next month I do a review of NuSphere’s PHPEd.
A pointer from my good buddy lig sent me to the most recent edition of the daily wtf’s Pop-Ups. You just have to love those. Check out their “Pop-up Potpourri Mayday Edition.“.
So I’m taking my 5 year old daughter to kindergarten today, and I have my 2 year old in the car with me as well. We’re just be-bopping along and my daughter is singing songs from her kindergarten repertoire ("Schooltime is over” and “Glub Glub Went the Frog") and I’m thinking about how even though it is very stressful to try and juggle all the demands of full-time momminess and my full time job, plus my freelance writing gigs, plus my teaching, and so on and so forth… I still feel very fortunate to get to be with my kids all day every day, and how I’m just so proud of them. I’m patting myself on the back a bit, because my kids are both so very intelligent and creative, and just so polite and happy with the “pleases” and the “thankyous". We’ve worked very hard to make sure they’re both well-behaved and if they do have an argument everyone says sorry, and hugs and kisses go around, etc… and then I’m thinking what a good influence I’ve been and how I’m glad I don’t have to worry about them being in day care and such…
About that time, we pass an open fire hydrant that had not yet been attended to, and of course there’s water spewing out all over the four-lane road. When the guy next to me flies through it drenching my car with a very loud and very forceful shower of water, we all gave out a collective “Whoa!” and then darling sweet Emily laughs and says “Oh my gosh, Mom, that scared the hell out of me.”
Now, by all rights I should have been mortified, but I’d had one of those days and it absolutely caught me off guard and really struck my funny bone. I’m trying unsuccessfully not to laugh as I say “it scared the hell out of me too, but you really shouldn’t say it like that. Kids should say ‘heck’ instead, ok?” I say “hell” all the time, so of course I knew where she’d gotten it, no blaming the husband on this one. “Oh, okay mom,” was the reply, and I begin wondering where else she may have said that when I wasn’t around.
Needless to say I’m reconsidering my position on what I good influence I am on my children.
We released our first official press release to the masses today; always before we chose a few select papers to contact, but this time we went all out. What the heck, life is short, right? So here it is, in all its glory:
http://www.internetnewsbureau.com/archives/2006/may/inflection.html
or for the lazy:
CINCINNATI, OH - May 1, 2006 (INB) – Giftsforengineers.com (www.giftsforengineers.com) has expanded their product mix to over 300 unique items specifically for engineers. The site currently offers gifts of all kinds, from t-shirts and coffee mugs, to books and gadgets. Top sellers include items such as a “Geek Man Action Figure,” a paperweight that looks like a crumpled blueprint, a box of chocolates formed in the shape of engineering tools, and a clock that is made from a recycled circuit board. The site emphasizes a rich online shopping experience and excellent customer service by offering incentives such as 2-day shipping for $4.95, a free gift with every order, a money back guarantee, online customer service chat, and customer reviews of products.
This e-commerce venture has been operational since 2001 and while it has experienced growth every year, 2005 offered the biggest growth spurt by far for the small company. The continued success of the store can be attributed to its unique offering of gifts tailored especially for engineers of every focus, as well as the emphasis on providing outstanding customer service. Inflection Point, Inc. is the parent company and is a privately held, woman-owned corporation.
Elizabeth Naramore, Vice President Web Development, admits that the company is bursting through its seams. “We are at a definite crossroads with the company’s growth and plan on expanding to space three times what we currently occupy. In 2006, we also plan on increasing the number of products even more and adding additional functionality to the site such as wish lists, loyalty purchase programs and an online gift selector to assist our customers in choosing just the right gift for their engineer.”
The site has previously been featured in the Cincinnati Enquirer and the Dallas Morning News. Inflection Point, Inc. is a member of the Better Business Bureau’s Online Program.
We’re so “corporate”
So I’m messing around with our camcorder (no, it’s not what you think– we don’t shoot those types of movies)… and I realize no one’s ever downloaded the still shots we’ve been collecting for a while. Sure enough, I pop that baby in the card reader and voila! I see pics going back to Christmas 2004. Most are blurry and not very well-lit, but I was able to post some of them to our photo album. If you’ve got nothing better to do and you want to see some photos of our family, feel free at http://www.naramore.net/photos.
So it was my task to send out our email newsletter for giftsforengineers.com - we had a bunch of things to let our customers know about (50 new items, upcoming sales, gift certificates, that sort of thing). Usually I shy away from flashy emails as many of our subscribers opt for the “text-only” version.
So basically this was a rich-text format, no biggie. This time when the emails went out, some people got 5 copies of the email and some didn’t get it at all. (Nice and professional, huh?). I’m still trying to discern what might have caused this, and I’m wondering if it has something to do with HTML vs. text-only versions when the customer subscribed. We’ve sent these out in the past without incident but this time was squirrely for some reason. If you have any ideas, let me know!
The latest edition of International PHP Magazine has been released. This time I showcased this extremely cool site called “Netdisaster.com” - this guy does some hilarious things with websites, all with PHP. It’s pretty amazing. Go ruin some competitors’ sites and have fun.
I’ve had to temporarily disable comments because of the massive amounts of spam that sit in my “to be moderated” box. Being the big nerd that I am, I tried to write my own code that would block the spam and it works when I human-test it, but those nasty spambots are bypassing the system somehow. I’ll get you my pretties… argh!
So I’m surfing the net and I came across a SysAdmin Appreciation Day (July 25). This got me thinking - what other self-appointed weird days are out there?
These have been decreed “Official” by somebody:
- Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day
- Elephant Appreciation Day
- Beer Can Appreciation Day
… oh and now I see that egreetings.com and 123greetings.com have their own lists of these kind of “holidays” such as “Peanut Butter and Jelly Day” and “Tomb Sweeping Day". WTF? Apparently today is “Cuddly Kitten Day". So go pet a Cuddly Kitten.
I think I’m going to make an Engineer Appreciation Day- if they can make a Go Commando Day, and a Don’t Step in Dog Poop Day, I think there should certainly be an Engineer Appreciation Day.
International PHP Magazine’s latest edition has been released, and can be found here. In this edition I wrote about PHP’s use in Beeradvocate.com and the International Federation of Competitive Eating websites. PHP, Beer, and Food. My 3 favorite things… doesn’t get much better than that.
My thanks go out to Todd Alstrom and Matt Rowe, two talented developers who were great about providing me the information I needed to write the article. Thanks guys!
Although the leprechaun has eluded capture since time began, I believe we may have developed the first escape proof plan. Well, I guess I should say my daughter has. For her kindergarten class they had to design, sketch, build and present a leprechaun trap (yes, kindergarten). So here’s her contribution. We do know a few things about leprechauns. (1) They never do what they’re told (so a “do not climb” sign assures they will climb). (2) They love shiny things (like cans and bits of gold). (3) They’re pretty tiny (so they probably won’t be able to climb out of things they’ve fallen into.)
And here they are waiting for said leprechaun to fall in said trap.
And what happens if we finally catch one? Apparenly we’ll be “rich” and have lots of Barbies.
I can’t wait!
It’s now been 2 days since my appendectomy, and I’m feeling better. Funny that my surgery was at 7:45 am on Thursday morning and by noon I was on my way home. What’s up with that? Who knew appendectomies were now outpatient surgeries. Just as well for me though as I’d rather be home with my family. I remember dreaming about Dora the Explorer while I was under the knife… is that wrong? Mad props to my husband who really stepped up to the plate and took care of everybody while I’ve been laid up. I’m still in a Percoset-induced fog but I do feel better today than I have in a while.
A few weeks ago, I’m teaching my e-commerce class when I get sharp stabbing pains in my abdomen. Being the consummate professional I sucked it up until the pains subsided… also, I didn’t want to make an idiot of myself on the first class. Since then, I’ve felt like total crap from time to time, but mostly the pains and discomfort went away.
So the pains and cramping came back on Sunday morning, but this time they didn’t go away. The verdict- appendicitis and now I have to have my appendix out. Fun. This, after several exams and a CAT scan, it’s confirmed that they have to rip that puppy out. Not too bad except for the exam and surgery “preps” you have to go through with drinking all that icky stuff. My pre-surgery “all liquid” diet isn’t really that hard either because I’ve not been hungry since Sunday morning before this all began. So I guess the good news is I’ve lost a couple of pounds. Take that, weight watchers.
6:00 am tomorrow morning, I’m supposed to be at the hospital ready to go. I’ll probably still be asleep but I guess we’ll see how it goes. If everything goes as planned, they can rip that sucker out laproscopically and it’s actually an “outpatient” thing. Imagine.
Guess we’ll see how it goes - I’ll just be glad to feel better and get this over and done with already!
Despite my best efforts, I have always struggled with the “girl” things. Things like plucking eyebrows, accesorizing an outfit, putting on makeup the correct way. Those kinds of things. This morning, as I dutifully go through my routine, my full can of $15 hairspray decides to attack me. After all I’ve done for it, this is the thanks I get.
Ok, so I dropped it. On the hardwood floor. My fault, I know. But when I drop it, the little nozzle thingy gets bent and stuck in the “permanently spraying” position. So now I’m in my bathrobe trying to fix this aerosol can and not get sprayed in the eyes. Thankfully I’m a slob, so there was my towel readily available on the floor- I grab it and try to smother the thing, but it was to no avail. It’s continuing to spray (and stink up the joint I might add). I ended up throwing the thing outside where it could spray to it’s heart’s content. I know my neighbors think I’m a complete idiot. (And it’s still spraying by the way)
We have a very fat, very lovable cat named Stan who apparently has his nose out of joint for some reason. Out of the blue, he decided he was no longer going to use the litter box, or at least not every time he needed to do his business. Because we have 2 large dogs and 2 not-so-large kids as well, we have hardwood floors throughout our house and have postponed any rug purchase until which time we can be sure that damage done to said rug will be minimal.
So while it was an easy cleanup to take care of Stan’s indiscretions, it was still a pain in the ass. We tried numerous things like switching brands of litter, using lemon juice to mask the smell of previous indiscretions and putting plastic down on the touchy areas. (That’s a nice look in your living room, by the way). We also then banished him to the basement when we weren’t home to keep an eye on him. I felt bad for the poor little guy, but it had to be done if he was to maintain his position in our home.
This worked fine for a while, but I knew he was plotting his revenge- you know how cats are.
This morning I go bounding down the stairs to the basement and I see a pool of dark red liquid all over. Like everyone else, I’m sure, we had previously decided to store our half-used cans of paint right next to the basement stairs, and Stan “conveniently” found the one that was cranberry red and the lid not quite on tight enough to “accidentally” knock over.
As I was (still in my bathrobe) cleaning this sticky dark red mess I glanced down at my hands, which were of course covered in the red goo. And the bag of paper towels next to me were all soaked in red. I chuckled to myself and thought what an opportune moment it would be if a neighbor decided to stop by just then. Of course, it looked like I had massacred someone in our basement (and it still does, by the way).
I know Stan was laughing at me secretly, but he must have also realized our true love for animals (me, the vegetarian, and my husband who is so against animal testing that we boycott P&G items in our house because of their policies) … because miraculously he didn’t step in it and track it all over the place.
I’m sure there’s something on the market that will clean it all up for good, so I’m not too worried about it (in fact I thought it was kind of funny). After all, Stan’s my baby.
Just got my copy of Beginning PHP5, Apache & MySQL translated into Russian. This goes along with my Polish and my Italian copies. What cracks me up is that the screen shots are all the originals, still in English, so these poor PHPers trying to learn have no idea what a “successful” screen says, only that it matches what is shown in the book. Good luck, guys!
So the last 2 weeks have been a little stressful… traditionally they are our busiest at GFE, with all the last-minute shoppers and people needing things ASAP, and bulk orders for employee Christmas gifts. And we did 4 times the volume we did last year with the same amount of staff. Whew. Oh and did I mention the coding project I have due at the end of December that I have barely started?
To add insult to injury, we had a bad snowstorm last week and in my rush to get the heck outta Dodge, I locked my keys in my car while it was running. Yes. Running. (Of course, to give me a little credit, it’s a new feature on our car that automatically locks the doors 2 seconds after the key is in and the engine started… regardless if the thing is in “drive” or not, so for me it was just a matter of time). But in any event, it made me bum a ride to get where I needed to go on time, and it made my husband come back from work to shut the thing off. Divine Intervention I decided, because I am a totally crappy driver in the bad weather and I probably would have ended up in a ditch somewhere anyway.
So then a few days later my son comes down with a double ear infection, but thankfully we got some meds in him before Christmas.
So then a few days later our dryer breaks and my husband goes out and buys a new one… which we promptly drop down the stairs to the basement. Luckily he was underneath to break its fall. And after piecing it back together, it is as good as new. Well, as good as new plus some duct tape and a few extra “rattly” noises. (Oh, and he was fine, thankfully.)
So then a few days later my daughter comes down with pneumonia. She’s doing better now, but it looks like now my son may have it too… we’ll see what the doctor says.
So then yesterday I do what I do when things are super busy at work, and at home, with the shopping and wrapping and cooking and cleaning, and I write things on the back of my hand so I don’t forget them. I grab a marker and write “diapers” and “donuts” on there, so I wouldn’t forget to get them at the store (donuts were my contribution to the office Christmas party)… little did I know it was a permanent marker apparently, so it’s like tattooed on there. I scrubbed it like crazy, but it ain’t budging.
Perhaps it’s to remind me what’s really important in the world.. diapers and donuts. Or in other words, kids and really fattening food that tastes good.
At any rate it gives me a good chuckle when I see it and I think “thankfully I didn’t write something obscene on there.” Always a silver lining.
So picture this:
My first 5K was at 10 am Saturday; it was 23 degrees out and I hadn’t been running in 2 weeks because time is a precious commodity these days. Oh, and did I mention that the night before was my husband’s work Christmas party? I did okay with the alcohol consumption (only 1 beer, believe it or not) but the fact that we didn’t get home until 1:00 am was not working in my favor.
So anyway, I’m freezing my butt off, but I had my friend as a running buddy, so we were going to tackle our first 5K together.
Long story short- I finished 677th out of 855 runners. LOL! 42 minutes… Ouch. Pretty embarassing, but next time I will definitely be better prepared.
At least I have a benchmark now I guess.
Ben Ramsey has added me to his blogroll, despite my warnings of adverse affects on its overall quality. He’s a brave soul to include this drivel on such a powerful site. Right now his blog is worth $16, 371.66 (how much is yours worth?)… so we’ll see how much that goes down.
(Oh, and if you’re wondering: “Your blog, naramore.net/blog, is worth $0.00″ - woot!)
Our giftsforengineers.com store was in the Cincinnati Enquirer today:
http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20051114/BIZ01/511140319
Besides the fact that they kept calling me the owner, and didn’t mention Shelly at all, and that our “geek action figure” is a best seller despite it not being out there yet… it’s a pretty good article.
So I had this gift certificate to Bob Ronckers Running Spot, a local authority on running shoes. I drag the kids with me while I go try on running shoes, and I finally ended up with these: 
At $85, they better work!
I really wanted these: 
But I just could NOT bring myself to pay the $120 price tag. OUCH!
The cool thing about the Running Spot is that they encourage you to go run around the parking lot a few times before you buy. So of course I take the kids and we’re running all over the parking lot like big idiots. But at least it was a beautiful day for it. Maybe these “wonder shoes” will help me run more than 5 minutes at a time.
Well it’s officially official… I’ve registered for the Jingle Bell Run - 5K for arthritis on December 10th. I guess there’s no getting out of it now. Incidentally, if you want to sponsor me, you can, by going here. I’ll be the one coming in dead last.
Internally we use the abbreviation “GFE” for “Giftsforengineers.com” - we have for a while now, and I believe it has crept into our site. So I’m checking the stats and I see a weird referral… I go check it out and apparently, unbeknownst to us, GFE also stands for “Girlfriend Experience” in prostitute-speak. Prostitutes use that term when they “romance” a “client” in order to get more business.
Wow. I hope this isn’t indicative of future business ventures.
Usually I get my mp3 downloads from Wal-Mart since they cost a whopping $0.88 each and they have an awesome selection. I remember the first time I downloaded; it was from my laptop, which is where I usually access it from - you had to install this little wal-mart interface; no biggie. And now I try and access the download area at walmart.com and I see this:
I’m so pissed off I think I’m going to find someplace else. Any suggestions?
For my birthday, my husband had remote start installed on my Kia Sedona, and now I feel just like Knight Rider… or at least as much as you can in a mini-van. Instead of that creepy asexual voice Hasselhoff had in his car, I wonder if I could get Oded, Jason or Johnny. Perhaps I’ll look into that for next year.
As an addendum to my previous blog post about Michelle Kelly, apparently another Michelle Kelly has crept into my life yet again. When responding to an evite to a Halloween party, I see she is invading one of my circle of friends, as her name was on the invite list. I’m really starting to get paranoid.
I’ve returned from the Zend Conference and am finally getting over my jet lag. Despite feeling completely intimidated and self-conscious the entire time, I was able to meet some very nice people. It’s hard not to be intimidated when you, as a peon, are talking to some of the greatest minds in PHP core development, especially when you’ve been awake since 3:30 in the morning because you’re still on eastern time. (At least there was no one else in the workout room then). Thank goodness everyone I met was very down to earth. I wonder if those guys realize how smart they really are.
It was a great experience and I did enjoy talking about things other than “Spongebob” although I did miss my kids terribly. My 5 year old daughter wrote me a letter when I got back, which naturally made me all teary as usual:
DEAR MOMMY
THEANC YOO FOR THE PRESSINS
YOO AR CIND
YOO AR BYOODYFOL
I LOVE YOU VARY MUTC
I LOVE YOO LIC GOD DUS
THANC YOO FOR THE PRESDINS
I LOVE VEM
I IM GLAD YOO AR BAC
I GOT TOO GO NOW
BI LOVE EMILY
XOXOXOX
Come on now. “I love you like God does?” What could be more wonderful than that?
San Francisco was beautiful… at least the parts I got to see (i.e., the airport and the hotel). I did manage to walk across the street to check out the bay and watch the planes land for a bit, which was cool. And I finally got to watch “Dodgeball” from my hotel room.
I sent my “wrap-up” article to my editor yesterday, so it should be posted sometime in the next few days. I guess we’ll see if they let me out of my cage and send me to another one.
Our giftsforengineers.com was mentioned in the Dallas Morning News today:
I’m sure we’ll be /.’ed next. Right!MARKET SEGMENT
12:00 AM CDT on Saturday, September 24, 2005
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to find the right gift for an engineer.
Just visit Giftsfor Engineers.com, which segments novelty gifts by engineering discipline.
Need something for the petroleum engineer in your life? Try a sterling silver oil rig necklace. Chemical engineers will find the periodic table socks a perfect fit. For electrical engineers and computer engineers, there are dozens of items made from circuit boards.
And mechanical engineers are sure to love the crumpled blueprint paperweight, the site’s top seller.
The site was created by Inflection Point Inc., a Cincinnati engineering consulting firm that keeps an online compendium of engineer jokes. (Example: “Engineers aren’t boring people, we just get excited over boring things.")
GiftsforEngineers.com is especially handy for people who aren’t immersed in engineer culture, says the site’s Web development director, Elizabeth Naramore.
“Even if you don’t understand it, your engineer will,” she says.
Cincinnati is a Delta hub, so we hear about their financial difficulties and downsizing all the time. My Dad is big into stocks so we would always joke about the low price of Delta stock. A few days ago it was down to $1.07, so I figured what the heck - I’ll buy a few shares.
Today, it’s up to a whopping $1.17 (last update I got from my Dad anyway) - go team go!
This week has been stressful for me; we’re going to the beach for 10 days and leaving on Saturday. Sometimes I wonder if vacation is worth it (of course it IS worth it!) but between getting things packed and ready, trying to get caught up at work, get caught up on the book, get some other articles written and at least started, and cleaning the house for our dog sitter, I’ve been a little on the busy side. Oh and did I mention that the kids are both sick, so nobody’s sleeping at night? And I’ve been running every other morning because I’m trying to do a 5K in December, but that’s another story.
So anywho, kids of course are the most observant creatures on the planet, and my daughter decides mommy and daddy need a boost. Daddy had already left in the morning when she got up, so while I was in the shower, she fixes a nice “surprise” for me. I close my eyes and she walks me downstairs into the kitchen, and voila! Full tray of breakfast with water to drink and froot loops with milk. She even placed the vase of flowers on the tray and folded the paper napkin for me. She was so proud of herself, and it was such a nice gesture, of course it made me all teary-eyed.
And then I see this piece of paper with her writing on it and she tells me that was her “list". It read:
GDUPAT 900
MAK BEFKIST
FYD THE DOGZ AND CAT
LET VEM AOSIDE
SPRIZ!
YAY FOR DADDY! YES!
HAPPY
CONGRATULATIONS!
MOMMY AND DADDY!
SHY GIT HR WIS!
Translation:
Get up at 9:00 (which is really about 7:00)
Make breakfast
Feed the dogs and cat
Let them outside
Surprise!
Yay for Daddy!
Yes!
Happy Congratulations! (I had written that word out for her before)
Mommy and Daddy!
She get her wish!
Well it just cracked me up, and then I thought sheesh I’ve created a monster - she sees me all the time scheduling and making my “to-do” lists so I can keep on top of things. Yikes.
But it certainly did make me smile and have a much better day. So thanks Em!
Looks like I’ll be covering the Zend Conference in October for PHPBuilder, so if you’re a PHP enthusiast I hope to see you there!
A friend of mine and I flew to Minneapolis this past weekend to visit an old friend of ours and spend some quality “girlfriend time” together. I had no idea how overdue this was; I had never left Will (he is now 18 months) and I can count on one hand the number of times I had left Emily. While it tore at my heartstrings to say goodbye at the airport, the rest of me was thinking “let’s get the hell out of Dodge!” I’ll admit - it was so wonderful just being a regular person for a few days. Shopping, sleeping, eating out, working out, visiting– all without a “mommy!!” Ahh… it left me rejuvenated and ready to tackle life again. A mini-vacation is something I highly recommend to anyone, not just moms!
I was reading the news today and came across this article about a World War I veteran who was participating in a Memorial Day Parade. Although he is only 103, his driver’s license lists his birth as 1899 since he lied about his age to enter the War (which should make for some interesting data entry issues on his tax forms). I can only imagine what this guy has seen in his life, from the horrible casualties of war, to the amazing advances in technology and communication. Heck, I get depressed when I realize the kids of today have no idea what a record player is or what it’s like to type a report on a typewriter. This poor guy has seen friends and family pass away, and the world around him advancing at the speed of light. But his final quote in the article was what I thought really rocked: “I feel as though there are a lot of people around my age.”
I feel like I should seek an existential detective company to solve my “coincidence". Personally, I don’t believe in coincidences at all; I’m one of those freaks who thinks everything happens for a reason and everything is as it was meant to be. But there is a strange name that keeps popping up in my life - and I feel like it’s some cosmic connection somewhere… or perhaps just a freaky thing.
Back in 1996, when I began working at home, we installed a second line in our home which was to be used for business. The only problem was that the person who used to own the phone number to which we were assigned was not too hip on paying bills on time. I used to get calls night and day on that phone, mostly from creditors, all asking for a “Michelle Kelly.” At first it was humorous, then it became annoying. In fact, it became so annoying that I had to put a message on the machine that said, “if you’re calling for Michelle Kelly, then you have the wrong number.”
Flip to a few years later when we sold our home and bought a new one. I thought I had left good ol’ Michelle Kelly behind for good. Not so lucky, unfortunately. (more…)
So I’m a bit late in blogging, I’ve been a little busy lately. I’ve decided that Mother’s Day definitely rocks (if you’re a mother that is). My daughter made me a beautiful hand-painted Mother’s Day card, and a bouquet of flowers from paper and pipe cleaners that came in a lovely hand-painted vase made from a soup can. That, coupled with the iAUDIO U2 player I received from my husband and the new Weezer CD (released today) made this the best Mother’s Day ever. And of course the snuggles from my little guy made me all teary-eyed and girly, which was the icing on the cake.
We spent the day at an “Appalachian Festival” where they highlight pioneer and Native American crafts, food, and lifestyles. And of course the good old T-Mobile booth was there. My husband was dying to ask them about their “Appalachian” plan but refrained at my request. It was cool to see things like woodburning with just a magnifying glass and the good old sun (I saw my daughter filing that one away for future reference) and to hear the Native American drums and chants. All in all it was a very fun day.
It’s nice to be reminded that you’re appreciated for all the boo-boos you kiss and crusts that you cut off and games of 20 questions and/or peekaboo that you play ad nauseum… and also for the times (in my case the MANY times) you say “no!” and “time to clean up!” and “be nice to your brother/sister!” and “eat the rest of your lima beans!"… and for trying to teach the subtle nuances of life– be friendly, but not too friendly (especially to strangers); tell a grown-up if you have a problem, but don’t be a tattle-tale; why it’s okay for other kids to have bad manners, but not okay for you; share and be kind, but stick up for yourself when you have to… all of those conceptual “gray area” things, which are so fun to convey to a four year old.
So to all the mom’s out there - keep up the good work.
…and because I have so much free time, I’ve now agreed to put together and teach an e-commerce class at two of the adult/continuing education centers here in Cincinnati. Should be a fun time– hopefully I will be able to help some small businesses get up and running. I’m looking forward to it.
Heh, looks like I got a regular gig writing a news roundup-type thing at PHPBuilder. So if you come across any news-worthy, PHP-related items, drop me a line.
We have a newfie puppy, Cosmo, that’s a little over a year (he and my youngest child are 4 days apart). These are wonderful dogs- so gentle and loving. But also very big and very oblivious to the fact that they are very big. Cosmo is weighing in at about 110 lbs these days, and there’s just something endearing about watching a dog that big come lumbering at you full force to give you a puppy kiss, or watching him clumsily chase his own tail, or that he gets scared of the vacuum cleaner. You forget that he’s still pretty puppy-like even though when he stands on his hind legs he comes eye-to-eye with my husband, and rests his paws on my husbands’ shoulders. (And he’s still got some growing to do.)
Newfies are such great dogs because they are super-friendly, but also super-scary to people who don’t know better. And one resonating “WOOF!” is enough to scare away any would-be bad guys. And it’s funny that in the neighborhood, we’re the “ones with that big dog!".
Some might call it the home of Country Music or the home of the Grand Ole Opry. Me, I call it the place where weird shit happens.
My parents lived there for 6 years (their “out of body experience” so they call it). They lived through several weird things, such as the woman and her lover who conspired to kill her husband in order to get the insurance money… so she can further her Christian singing career. Or “the fantasy man”, Raymond Mitchell, who would call up women and try and convince them to have sex with him under the pretense that he was their husband/lover/boyfriend… One woman said she had sex with “Fantasy Man” twice a week for two months in 1992 because she thought he was her boyfriend, and only realized it wasn’t him when her blindfold slipped off. It seems like stories like those happen more often there than anyplace else.
Case in point… this story that appeared today, which tells of a woman who allowed her lover to live in their closet for a month before the husband found out. (!) The husband only caught him when he heard someone snoring and checked it out (!!). The husband told her to get him out of there while he calmly went for a walk (!!!). When he comes back, the lover bludgeons him to death with a shotgun (!!!!). Oh, and by the way, woman and her husband owned a company that did background checks for job applicants and apartment rentals. (!!!!!). It’s just so wrong on so many levels.
I’m happy to report that my webhost has installed rails for me, so now I can finally stop playing with my local installation and maybe do something real. I’ve got a few ideas- a new blog, a classified-type listing, and a few others. Of course that is assuming I can carve out a few minutes in my day to turn my ideas into reality. I’ve got some other projects on my plate that will take precedence, but soon I’ll be on my way.
My saga began in December ‘04 when my purse was stolen from inside my car while it was parked in my driveway. We live in the sleepy suburbs and I never locked my car (ok, ok, lesson learned.) After realizing I hadn’t simply left it on top of the car and sped away, spewing the contents across the neighborhood, we reported the theft to the police. Joke was on the thief, of course, because I had about $0.57 in my purse… hardly worth his/her effort.
So a few days later, a little girl shows up at my doorstep with my driver’s license and a few credit cards & insurance cards, and she says she found them on the street. Nice. So I thanked her and sent her on her merry way.
That night I get a call from my YMCA that they too are in possession of some of the contents of my wallet, that someone had found them on the street and turned them in (I work at the Y on Saturdays, thus my staff ID was also in my purse).
So bit by bit I’m getting my stuff back, but still a few credit cards were missing and my SS card, and a few other cards as well – we cancel all the credit cards of course and notify our bank to keep an eye out for any funny business.
Fast forward to yesterday. Another good samaritan calls to say that the my purse and its remaining contents was discovered by her son in a nearby creek. Thankfully the SS card was neatly preserved between 2 credit cards and came out unscathed. (Don’t know if you’ve ever had to get one replaced, but it’s a major pain in the rump). The purse was a bit dirty, as it had been sitting in a creek during winter for 3 1/2 months, but otherwise completely functional.
And I’m quite thankful to all who helped me retrieve my purse and its contents… but I find it interesting that the one thing that still remains missing was my favorite tube of lipstick. Mary Kay Cinnamon Twist. Now we know the true motive for the robbery. If you see someone looking guilty, but with fabulous lips, will you let me know?
A lot of people don’t realize this, but I do lead a double life. Apparently I’m also a student at Indian Crest Junior High, and one of 100 students from across the state to compete in the Reader’s Digest Word Power Challenge last year. At least that’s according to the Souderton Area School District, in Souderton, SD.
Kind of funny what comes up if you google your own name.
Because I wear many hats at work, and because I just like to keep up on what’s going on around me, I subscribe to numerous industry magazines and e-newsletters on everything from PHP, javascript, General Web, e-commerce and whatever else I can get my hands on. Last week I read about a new company that has developed 3-D image manipulation without requiring a plug-in. It’s called “Virtual Iris” and it’s still in beta, but because we’re always on the cutting edge at giftsforengineers.com (yeah right!) I thought I’d give them a call. Sure enough they were able to help out even a little guy like us and we will soon be implementing this on our site.
The results are pretty cool - our customers can zoom in and out, “turn” a product 360, and even measure the dimensions of the item. What a great way to improve our conversion rate. At 2% it’s not bad, but it’s not great either. Plus, we get to help beta test, which is always a good thing.
Anyway, you can check out the technology at www.virtualiris.com
Don’t know how in the heck I would afford making this trip, to php | tropics, but I definitely think that would be most cool. All-inclusive resort, warm weather, great PHP info, and the Zend exam thrown in for free. How great is that? Now, if I only had an extra couple thousand bucks laying around! Maybe they could use an extra speaker on their schedule…
If you haven’t heard about this, it’s the latest in your taxpayer dollars hard at work. At least if you live in NJ, that is.
The Attorney General of New Jersey is filing a lawsuit against Blockbuster over their new “no late fees” policy, saying they don’t disclose to consumers the details of the “no late fees” deal, which of course they do. (After 8 days the consumer will be charged the full purchase price of the video, if they return it within 30 days they get a full refund minus $1.25 restocking fee.)
I went to Blockbuster’s Web site, and of course all the pertinent info was there under FAQ.
So apparently people in New Jersey couldn’t either get all the facts before they rented a DVD, or else they’re incredibly stupid (no offense intended of course- I have a lot of friends in Jersey). What, did they think that they would never have to return the videos?? That Blockbuster would just say “oh, that’s okay, keep that movie a few more months… in fact, why don’t you just keep it forever, as our personal gift to you? We won’t ever charge you anything. Ever.” Come on now, even the library charges something if you don’t bring your books or movies back. Wouldn’t common sense dictate that there would be some sort of fee somewhere if you neglected to bring the movies back?
Oh, that’s right - I’ve used the key phrase “common sense” - something we know very little about in this country.
I love Chipotle. Actually I should say I loved Chipotle. And Moe’s Southwest Grill. Tried the new Moe’s tonight, which is basically just like Chipotle, but they yell “Welcome to Moe’s” to everyone who enters, and they have witty pop culture names for all their meals.
Any-who I order the Art Vandalay (which is basically your vegetarian bean burrito) and it comes with tortilla chips. I even skipped the sour cream. Being on my diet, I am very aware of what foods I am shoving into my mouth, so I figure I’m relatively safe with this choice… or as safe as you can get at this establishment.
Returning home, I dutifully scour the Internet for nutritional information - none is available for Moe’s so I check out Chipotle’s veggie burrito info. After my initial shock wore off and I got back up into my chair, I vowed I could never return to my favorite place again.
For you see, a veggie burrito from Chipotle offers the following health information;
Calories = 1003
Fat = 41 g
Sodium = 2394
Carb = 126 g
This, my friends, is not Weight Watchers friendly.
When you add the tortilla chips in, my meal became;
Calories = 1493
Fat = 60 g
Sodium = 2524
Carb = 197 g
Two words, Holy Shit.
Granted, Chipotle burritos are huge– a bit bigger than Moe’s so I don’t think I quite made those numbers. But when you’re dieting, you should err on the side of caution so I’m counting it.
I thought I would compare the worst, greasiest thing I could think of, just for shits and giggles as they say.
Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese + Large Fries from McDonalds offers:
Calories = 730 + 520 = 1250
Fat = 40 g + 25 g = 65 g
Sodium = 1330 + 330 = 1660
Carb = 46 + 70 = 116 g
I would have been better off with that choice. Of course, that is, if I were not a vegetarian.
I am so glad I have a personal trainer appointment on Monday.
So I’m checking out the domain names for sale on eBay because they always crack me up. This one sells for a cool $25,000,000 - robotporn.net. Can someone please explain to me what robot porn is? And why on earth would someone pay $25mil to start a robot porn business?
Maybe I’m just not on the cutting edge of technology. Maybe robots aren’t just used for cleaning and detecting danger.
I finally finished Star Wars KotOR… now maybe I can get some sleep! Perhaps I’ll play it again and go the “dark side” route. I’m such a nerd.
Well, poor thing is getting snipped tomorrow, and he doesn’t have a clue. But at roughly 110 pounds, he would make one big daddy. And we don’t need any Newfie-mixes running around. He’s a great dog, but his tail is deadly… at 11 months old, he still thinks he’s a tiny pup. When he stands on his hind 2 legs and puts his front paws on your shoulders he looks you eye-to-eye. It’s like having another person in the house, really.
We also can’t decide if he’s deaf or just not very bright. Half the time when he’s out playing in the yard and you call him to come in, he either ignores you or can’t hear you; and once you get his attention, he just looks at you with this “Who, me?” kind of look. As if there are 75 other dogs named Cosmo in his yard that you want to come inside. He is such a goofball. A big, sweet, drooly, hairy, happy goofball.
Newsflash: Listerine is NOT as effective as flossing. And this little tidbit will cost Pfizer a cool $2 mil to re-market and cover up.
$2 mil could have bought for the tsunami victims:
according to the Red Cross. I’m not saying that Pfizer should be allowed to say anything in their ads for Listerine. Perhaps if they were claiming to cure cancer, that would be a different story. This yet confirms my frustration with the lack of common sense in this country.
Although, the change will employ 4,000 people to place little stickers on each bottle of Listerine, so perhaps that’s Pfizer’s contribution to our unemployment situation.
This movie was on yesterday, so I thought it would be nice for my 4 1/2 year old daughter to watch it. Granted, it’s been some time since I was that age, and I didn’t quite remember the whole storyline. I remembered that it was kind of sad, but hey, it’s a classic, so I fired it up.
Within the first 5 minutes, I had teared up 4 times. Wow. I caught myself tearing up countless other times during this flick and while I kept a close eye on her to make sure she wasn’t getting upset, I thought to myself, “This is the freaking classic? This is horrible!” She was fine, though, and because I was definitely not fine, I immediately got to work straightening the clutter around the room.
If you’re not familiar with the story, it begins with a little girl who lives on a farm, and their pregnant pig has babies. Within the first 5 minutes of the story, the dad is going to kill the smallest piglet because he is a runt, so the girl is begging for his life. The dad says “fine- you take care of the pig then” which she does, then after they become best friends, the pig is sent away to another farm which breaks both their hearts. Then the pig finds out from another farm buddy that his whole existence is to be fattened up for killing later in the fall. NICE. 5 minutes and I’m a mess. Forget it.
So anyway, then Wilbur (the pig) befriends a spider who saves his life by writing cool stuff about him in her web. But then she dies. Wilbur takes care of her babies and then they all leave and go their separate ways, never to be seen again.
I’m all for teaching kids about life and death, but come on… do they really need to know this stuff at 4?! Of course, my daughter didn’t give it a second thought, but I’m still a mess.
I’d much rather see some Bugs Bunny.
I know there’s always room for Jell-o, and since I’m back on a diet I had this great recipe for this sugar-free-fat-free-taste-free dessert requiring the stuff. As I mixed the boiling water in with the Jell-o dust, my husband brought an interesting point to my attention. “Hey,” he says, “do you know what’s in gelatin?”
I’ve heard the old wives tales about ground bones and tendons and such, so I smugly say “what, ground bones?” and he says “Yes! And you’re still going to eat that stuff?”
Being a vegetarian for the past 7 years, somehow this fact had eluded me altogether. I felt like someone had given me a kick in the stomach. How could this be? Dare I investigate this further on the Internet? I dare!
So, yes, the fact was confirmed, and as I learned what comprised gelatin and what foods contain gelatin, I found myself spiraling deeper into a hypocritical nightmare. How could I possibly give up all those things? It’s hard enough being the only vegetarian in my entire extended family… and now dear old mom can’t make her Jell-o salad at Thanksgiving?! Come on already!
Thank goodness I, being female, was born with the “rationalization” gene, which allows me to rationalize myself right out of any uncomfortable situation. So here’s what I came up with.
Animals are not actually killed to make gelatin, right? And really, the bones or whatever is left over that is used in gelatin would just be thrown out if it weren’t for gelatin, right? So at least, if the animal was killed, I can sleep better at night knowing that it wasn’t all in vain - every last bit was used for a purpose. Right?
Whew, thanks. I feel better now. I think I will go get that good night’s sleep now.
OK, so I’ve been thinking about this blog thing for a while and decided what the heck. Why not put these ramblings from a not-so-complex mind in writing.
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