Elizabeth's Blog

In case you’re interested, here are the slides from my recent talk at ZendCon. My presentation was on E-Commerce and how PHP can be used in many other ways besides just a simple shopping cart. We use PHP in virtually every facet of our company - we really are powered by PHP. I’ve not done public speaking to a larger group in a while, (most of my public speaking experience is through teaching e-commerce) but I fared better than I thought. I usually end up completely humiliating myself in some form or another (ask me sometime about the speech I gave to my high school senior class.)

At any rate, I did get some positive feedback from some attendees - several of which were thankful that someone had touched on PHP in small business use. Again, I want to stress to all conference organizers that not everyone can practically use methodologies that are geared toward enterprise, and smaller, simpler solutions for the smaller dev shops still do have a place at these things. Hell, maybe I’ll organize a new PHP conference (as if there aren’t enough already) that’s geared toward small business and just leave big business out of it altogether .

Overall, it was a great experience as conferences always are, and even though I didn’t get to attend a lot of presentations (due to work and some other external factors) I did pick up a few tidbits here and there. Besides the PHP knowledge you can obtain, another benefit to conferences like these are the social connections you carry home with you. You can connect through IRC, mailing lists, forums, and other ways… but when it comes right down to it, there is no substitute for real face-to-face human interaction. And if it occurs while enjoying an adult beverage or two, and maybe some crazy karate guys chopping up skulls, then all the better. I felt very fortunate to be able to meet several people in person that I had only previously known by name, and to meet some new people as well. Just like college, it’s perhaps not only about learning information but also going through the experience that makes you better off on the other side.

I also want to personally thank Cal Evans and Zend for allowing phpwomen.org the opportunity to promote our cause - it was wonderful to see so much support from men and women attendees alike. I especially liked seeing our signature purple t-shirts everywhere, and I hope everyone wearing one comes to visit our site and forums. A lot of guys brought shirts back to the PHP women working in their department - bonus points for all of you, and we appreciate your help spreading the word.

I don’t know if my liver can handle it, but I do look forward to going to next year’s conference. Hope to see you there!

I recently read on Ajaxian about a recent press release concerning a lawsuit brought on by the National Federation for the Blind. The suit was aimed toward Target (more specifically, target.com) and the poor state of the site’s web accessibility. Great news for the visually impaired – e-commerce businesses in California are now required by law to make their sites accessible (under the Americans with Disabilities Act). This is also a wake-up call to the rest of the e-commerce merchants out there (and really any web developer), that they can no longer ignore this part of the population. We’ve been somewhat guilty of this ourselves; a few web-accessibility issues have been on the “to-do” list for too long; being pushed down the list by other seemingly more urgent things. Kudos to the NFB.

After some negotiations, I’m pleased to announce that giftsforengineers.com has gained exclusive rights to sell some of Roger Penwill’s cartoons on merchandise. He’s a fabulous cartoonist based out of the UK, and we’re very excited to see his stuff on our t-shirts. Thanks, Roger! The full press release is below.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Giftsforengineers.com Obtains Exclusive Rights to Sell Cartoonist Roger Penwill’s Merchandise

CINCINNATI, OH (July 24, 2007)
Giftsforengineers.com is happy to announce an exclusive licensing arrangement with Roger Penwill, renowned science and engineering cartoonist based in the UK. Giftsforengineers.com will now be able to sell merchandise such as t-shirts, coffee mugs, and such featuring Penwill’s cartoons.

“We are always looking for unique items that appeal specifically to engineers; gifts you can’t just pick up anywhere. Our new arrangement with Roger Penwill allows us to bring his humor and artistic talent to those individuals in search of gifts for their hard-to-buy-for engineers,” says Elizabeth Naramore, Vice President, Web Development. “We are very excited about this line of products we are able to offer, and we’re sure it will not only help our customers provide excellent gifts, but it will significantly impact our core business as well.”

About Roger Penwill
Roger Penwill was a regular cartoonist for CADalyst magazine for many years, having previously provided cartoons for A/E/C Systems’ Computer Solutions magazine. His cartoon collections have been published in the USA, China and UK. In the UK, his works have appeared in The Times, Financial Times, Sunday Telegraph, The Countryman and specialist publications. He has also done work for Autodesk, Inc. and Bentley Motors, as well as providing cartoons for commercial calendars, greetings cards, Christmas cards and books.

Roger became UK President of the Federation of Cartoonists Organisation (FECO) in 1999 and FECO President General 2001-2005. He currently acts as the FECO Vice-President General. He is also a member of the British Cartoonists Association, the Cartoonist Club of Great Britain, and a founder member of the new Professional Cartoonists Organisation. He is a Fellow of the Royal Society of Arts, Manufactures and Commerce (RSA). Roger also is the orginator and Chairman of an International Cartoon Festival held annually in Shrewsbury, UK, since 2004.

About GiftsforEngineers.com
Giftsforengineers.com has been in operation 2001 and has since increased it’s product offering to over 350 unique items for engineers and techies of all types. It is operated by Inflection Point, Inc., a privately owned company based in Cincinnati, Ohio. Giftsforengineers.com has been featured in The Cincinnati Enquirer and The Dallas Morning News.

CONTACT:
Elizabeth Naramore
Vice President, Web Development
513-947-1122 ext 111
enaramore@inflection-point.com

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ZendCon recently announced their speakers lineup, and imagine my surprise to see that my talk had been accepted. I’ll be speaking on PHP & E-commerce and some of the things PHP can easily do besides allowing you to set up “just a shopping cart.” Given the number of talks on the Zend Framework, I’m hoping my e-commerce talk won’t be too out of place– it’s more for the Business Case track anyway. It won’t be too code-intensive, but I hope to make it entertaining and educational at the same time. I’m also proud to give more representation to the little guys - conferences tend to focus more on enterprise, and I’m glad I can show what a profound impact PHP can have on the bottom-line.

Now, if I can just get the internet retailing industry to pay attention to open source (and PHP) then I’ll truly be a happy camper.

Being in e-commerce, I get all kinds of marketing/optimization/other crap newsletters, articles, white papers, and what have you. Most of it is junk, but every now and then I come across a nugget of information that I really find helpful.

I received one such nugget from a person named Perry Marshall who is very good at optimizing Google Adwords but who also has some good words of general advice from time to time. This came in a regular email he sends anyone subscribed to his list. This email was entitled “Sometimes You’ve Just Gotta FIRE a Customer!” He tells a few horror stories about problematic customers who take “the customer is always right” to the extreme and who refuse to be at the very least cordial with his employees. In fact they are downright rude and no amount of jumping through hoops will placate them. The cost of trying to “win these customers over” is always too high and you as a service provider end up in a lose-lose situation completely. The moral of the story is that it’s basically okay to cut the customer loose and essentially say “I don’t want your business any more.”

We’ve come across several such customers, one recently in particular who apparently thinks that our Building Plans tube of Engineering Chocolates is akin to a kidney or other important bodily organ when it didn’t arrive on time. We jumped through numerous hoops for said customer and ended up losing a total of roughly $94 on the deal, only to have her repeatedly send us nasty emails; emails I wouldn’t send my worst enemy. It really makes me wonder what kind of life these people lead… what makes them so very angry? What keeps them from at least adhering to common decency and polite communication? And more importantly, who the hell marries these people?

While Mr. Marshall chooses to confront such nasty customers bluntly by flat out telling them their business is not worth it to him if they are going to treat him and his employees in such a way, I prefer the more passive-aggressive approach:

First, let me say that we take customer service very seriously here at giftsforengineers.com and we consider our customers like part of our family. We always try to take care of them the best we can but apparently sometimes even our best isn’t good enough. I’m sorry to have caused you such deep disappointment, grief and embarrassment with your gifts as that was certainly not our intent. It’s amazing the effects simple chocolates can have. I do hope you can forgive us but if you choose not to order from us again I understand.

I doubt that this individual is smart enough to pick up on my ironic sugary sweetness, but it made me feel better to point out how absurd the whole situation really was.

I am a firm believer in providing excellent customer service, but at some point you have to make the decision to cut a customer loose. When it starts taking a toll on your resources (both in time, money and energy) then it’s simply not worth it. THESE PEOPLE WILL NOT BE HAPPY, no matter what you do! I think this not only applies to the e-commerce customer, but also to the web development client you may be contract working for (I’ve had some doozies there too). You have my official permission to sing a little Twisted Sister, and reclaim your freedom! You’ll be better off for it.