Wow, 2 dork-filled moments in one day. That might be a record for me. Anybody following me on Twitter might have seen that it was my husband’s work party last evening… I actually had heels on, so I fully expected a wipe-out at some point in the evening.
Good news is that I made it through without falling down. But I had an interesting experience nonetheless. After the party, a large group of us decided to go to a nearby bar called The Avenue. One step inside told you this wasn’t a typical Covington, Kentucky bar (yes, we were across the river in Covington not downtown Cincy per se). It was pretty hip, I say, with it’s little conversation couches and Betty Page servers. I felt a bit inadequate in my little Christmas sweater and pearl earrings, but what the hell.. I’d had a few, so what did I care.
When it was time for me to visit the little girl’s room, I wandered toward the back and found an unmarked hallway that I instinctively followed. There, I found 2 doors, presumably the restrooms. In true pseudo-esoteric fashion, one door was marked with a triangle above it, the other with a circle… but otherwise the doors were completely blank.
I’m standing there, with my legs crossed thinking “What. Thefuck.”
So then I kind of chuckle and look around -surely this is some kind of candid camera moment; some kind of joke. Alas, Alan Funt did not jump out and save the day, so I was left to ponder this riddle on my own. I stood there for a while, contemplating the subtle symbolism of the triangle versus the circle, and questioning my own sexuality. If I was a girl, would I be a circle or a triangle? To me, the choice was not as obvious as it could have been. I mean, triangles are kind of pointy and harsh, and circles are all warm and fuzzy-like. But the triangle could also be seen as a skirt, like on a stick-person. And I guess, the circle could be construed as a piece of the male genitalia.
I puzzled and puzzed, (not unlike the Grinch) and eagerly awaited someone to exit so my mystery could be solved. No one was coming out or going in, and by this point my bladder was screaming for my attention. Forget it, I thought. I’m a triangle. As I started in that direction, I noticed a guy coming up behind me. Sweet! A guinea pig! I can let him make an ass out of himself first.
So of course, because I can’t just keep my mouth shut and smoothly pretend that I was just waiting for someone, I laughed and said “what the hell am I supposed to do?”
The dude apparently took pity on me because he laughed back and said “the triangle’s the pen1s, and the circle’s a vagina.”
“Aha!” I said, and I realized at that moment I was a complete dork. That thought really hadn’t occurred to me previously… all I could think of was “I’m soo blogging this.”
So is this where the world stands? We’re not in LA or New York, but podunk Cincinnati. And not even technically Cincinnati, but Covington, Kentucky. And because Cincinnati is usually 15 years behind everyone else, does this mean that everywhere, people are using triangles and circles instead of “men” and “women"? I know I have comments disabled but someone PLEASE enlighten me to wtf is going on.